Fireproof [l.t]

Chapter 24

The next moment that I get a chance to breath, isn't until after our performance, when we're sitting in the audience, watching award after award be presented, and by then the novelty and excitement of the night has truly worn off.

When we'd left the limo, we had been ushered by assistants to the beginning of the red carpet, where we had then slowly shuffled down the red carpet, stopping every few steps for photos and interviews. It was just as nerve-wracking as I had thought it would be. Every time we were asked to take photos, I was overwhelmingly aware of every part of my body - how my fingers would look awkward the way they rested on my hip, how there was a singular hair resting on my eyelash, how the way my foot was pointed might make my leg look twisted. It was exhausting.

The interview part of the red carpet was slightly less nauseating, only because of the sheer simplicity of the questions we're asked.

"It's your first award show performance, are you guys excited?" Of course. It's such an honour to be asked to perform, and we can't wait to get out on stage. Although we hope next year we're here with a nomination.

"How was it going on tour with one of the biggest boybands of all time?" It was such a great opportunity, and we can't be more thankful to them for bringing us along.

"Your new album has just been released, but everybody wants to know are you working on anything new?" You'll just have to wait and see.

The questions and answers were repeated and recycled, so it made it a lot easier for me to not panic about saying the wrong thing. The only time I struggled for a second was when an interviewer had asked us about seeing One Direction again tonight.

"Have you guys talked to the One D boys since the tour? You all seemed like such close friends." The interviewer had followed up, after Luke had given the routine answer about tour being such a fun time. "They'll be here tonight, so it'll be a bit of a reunion for you guys."

It wasn't a difficult question, there was nothing in it that our managers had warned us to bypass and avoid. It would've been a simple answer if I hadn't glanced at my friends beside me and seen the way they smiled at me. Everyone else would just see a group of friends smiling about nothing, but I could tell that there was a mischievousness in the way they looked at me and waited expectantly for an answer.

"Uh," I stuttered, turning away from them and back to the interviewer, hoping that my makeup was thick enough to hide my cheeks going red. "Yeah, we've talked a little bit since tour ended, but we've both been busy with our own things. So, it'll be nice to catch up with them a bit tonight."

I managed to smile at him, impressed by the fact that I hadn't stumbled over my words. No one said anything, but as we walked away from him, and thanked him for the interviewer, Luke nudged me with his arm softly. When I had turned to him, he had simply shrugged and smiled at me. I resisted the urge to tackle him to the floor, and just made a face at him that made him laugh.

The red carpet seemed to last for hours, and I would be lying if I said that I didn't spend most of that time glancing around, trying to see some sort of glimpse of Louis. At the start of the night, I thought it was because I was nervous, because that's the only reason I used to try and survey areas, but the longer the night when on, the more I realised that it wasn't out of fear, but excitement. Seeing Louis was something that I was looking forward to, that I was eager for.

I didn't see him. Not at the red carpet, not when we were ushered backstage as soon as we stepped off it. The whole time that I was being changed into my performance outfit, I was wandering if I would even get the chance to talk to him tonight, to do anything more than just smile and wave at him from a distance while I was being moved onto the next place.

Then the next thing I knew, we were on stage, performing our latest single in front of a room full of artists that I had looked up to for years. It was surreal, and it probably would've been the most awkward performance of my career, if the first face I saw wasn't Louis'.

The music had barely started, and I was standing on stage gripping my microphone tightly so that my hands wouldn't shake. My eyes were set on the floor, and I was certain that my performance would be stiff and weak because as soon as I lifted my gaze, I would be aware of the absolute star power in the room.

When I did look up though, as I started singing, I immediately found Louis. I hadn't seen him at all in the last hour and a half, and within a second of our performance starting, his bright blue eyes were the first thing I saw. It helped that he was one of the few people standing, and when he saw me looking at him, he grinned at me widely and gave me a thumbs up.

I didn't stop smiling the whole performance, and no matter how much I spun or how far across the stage I roamed, I always managed to find Louis in the crowd, cupping his hands around his mouth as he screamed out for us.

Then the set was done, and we were ushered off the stage, given more clothes to change into, and taken to our seats quietly as the show continued.

So now I'm sitting in the aisle seat, Ashton to my left, as I discretely try to type out a message on my phone, and all I'm thinking about is how I can't wait for the awards to be over. I glance to my left, past Ashton and past the twenty other people beyond him, to catch a glimpse at Louis' profile, bathed in the yellow light from the stage as he watches an announcement for some award that I didn't listen to.

I look back down at my phone, and finish typing my reply to his message. When I had sat down after the performance, I had checked my phone, thinking it would be a quick glance to check the time. I hadn't expected any messages, I was already with all of my friends.

Then that quick look, turned into me checking my phone every other minute because Louis had messaged me. It was simple, cute. Telling me that the performance was really good, and that I was amazing on stage. I had blushed and typed out a thank you, trying to keep my phone hidden. Then he replied again, and so did I, and before I knew it, I had spent half the night on my phone messaging him, and probably looking like an asshole at these awards.

I think that maybe I've gotten away with it, that maybe I've been discrete and polite enough that no one's even noticed my phone, until it's suddenly snatched from my grasp.

"You looked so beautiful up there." Ashton mutters in a horrible British accent as he reads the messages, leaning away from my reaching hands.

"Stop. Give it back." I struggle to maintain a whisper as he smiles at me and turns so that the phone is out of my reach.

"Will you be at the afterparty?" He continues, this time his voice mockingly high as he imitates me. "Is that all you've got? Here let me write a message for you."

Ashton begins typing out a message and I reach for my phone one more time, but this time I can't stop how loud my voice is, when I panic, and tell him to stop.

Someone from behind us shushes us angrily, making both Ashton and I pause and turn back to mutter ashamed sorry's. When we turn back, stifling smiles and laughter, I manage to snatch my phone back from him, and thankfully he hasn't sent anything. But I can see the message he's half typed out and I blush as I quickly delete it.

"I hate you." I mutter at him, smacking his leg but Ashton just smiles.

Almost out of habit, I glance past him once more, and almost choke when I see Louis watching me, a laugh still evident on his face, as he puts up a hand to wave at me. I wave back shyly, biting back a smile, and then immediately regret it, as Ashton leans over, blocking me as he waves at Louis.

I roll my eyes and lean back in my seat, trying to focus on the rest of the ceremony, still embarrassed that I'd been told off. I promise myself that I'll stay off my phone for the rest of the night, at least until the ceremony is over, but then my phone buzzes and I turn it over without thinking.

Yeah, I'll be there. Can't wait to see you again x

My hand comes up to my mouth as I smile at the message, and then I put my phone away, trying to follow through with my promise. I can't stop that little x at the end of his message from bouncing around in my brain though.