When We Were Young (Twilight)

Chapter 18

It doesn't hit me until I'm standing outside of the door.

I think about just walking away and telling him that something came up.

In my heart, I know that I shouldn't; so, I don't.

Instead of turning around, I take a deep breath and hold my hand up to knock, but the door opens. I pull my hand away fast and hope I don't look suspicious.

"See you later, honey. I love you."

The small woman with caramel hair, who shares her son's green eyes and beauty, looks back at me.

"Bella." She's curt, but motions for me to come in.

"Hi, Esme," I say, eyes landing on her son next to her.

"I'm just leaving. Sorry I can't stay to catch up. Not that you'd want to since It's none of my business."

"Mom."

She shrugs. "Okay. Well, bye."

The door closes with a soft click as she exits. I look around at the place that we once called home.

"I didn't know you kept this place," I say, breaking the silence. It's decorated minimally, no sign of the life we once shared.

He runs a hand through his hair. "It held special memories. I always meant for us to come back to it."

His eyes search mine and I nod.

"Esme is still my number one fan, I see." It wasn't always like this between us. She was always nice, warm, and welcoming. After I stayed, she tried to talk to me. I shut her out like the rest of Edward's family.

"Yeah, well... you did insult her." He turns around and walks to the sofa. He sits down, but I lean against the wall. It's close enough to the door that I can bolt if I need to.

"There are a lot of things I'm sorry about, Edward." I realize in that second, I'm not angry anymore. I'm just... sorry.

He watches me for a second, and then, "Yeah, me too."

The silence is heavy, so many words that need to be said. I don't know where to start, but I try.

"It used to be so easy to talk to you, to tell you what I was thinking." I watch him, taking a deep breath. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do here." I take out the papers. "I know I've been shitty, indecisive. It's my fault we're here."

He shakes his head. "Bella."

"Can I just ask what brought these on? Is there someone else?" I ask in a rush. I might as well get that out of the way.

He stands up slowly and makes his way to me. He stops a few feet away, but he's closer than he's been in years.

"Even when I wanted there to be, when I needed any distraction to keep me from completely losing it without you... there was only you. So, no." He gets impossibly closer. "There is no one else. You're all I've ever wanted, Bella."

There's a small part of me that wants to ask him why. What's so special about me?

Before I can, his hand brushes a strand of hair behind my ear and he watches me. My breath catches as he asks, "Are you going to sign them?"

"What if I didn't? What would happen? I know that we can't go back to what we were." I look into his eyes, and it occurs to me if I want to fix this, I need to be honest with him and myself.

"We could have something better... actually work for it. I know what I'm missing here."

His eyes burn into mine, and his words set me on fire. It would be so easy to kiss him, but he steps back and clears his throat.