She chose Herself

I'm ashamed

Facing such a situation, was a rollercoaster for Ananya. She just couldn’t imagine what this supposed to mean, what she was supposed to act like. 

Like normal? Should she go and call Manik, and ask about all these?

What a cliché way of finding your love interest’s partner. What is this a Karan Johar Bollywood movie?

She went back to the washroom, washed her face  multiple times. Without any further distractions,  hanging her head low, she headed towards her friend.

The crowd of the train, the road for a while made her forget her heartbreak. Reaching home, she had to put on that fake smile, precisely hide her true feelings and pretend as if nothing happened.

After dinner at night, switching off the lights, as she pulled the bed sheet over her head, began her war. Her own war where the challenge was to cry, cry and cry but without anyone hearing or noticing. 

The entire night was spent like that. She cursed herself. Blamed herself for being like this. Being like as if she knows everyone, as if everything is under her control.

After a rigorous night of crying, she was still depressed the next morning. In her life, she never was so close to her parents that she could share everything with them, and the fear of getting judged by her friends always ate her, so no way of sharing this with anyone.

At times like this, her only friend is her notebook and a pen. She starts scribbling all her emotions, fear, her everything in those sheets of paper. 

She does it every time. Every time she needs to talks to someone. And while writing all her experiences for this time, she realised that big mistake that she did this time. 

All these time it was only she who made it look like she can handle things, while avoiding the truth, She was avoiding the fact that Manik was never in love with her, but it was only from her side.  And coming to the part, of sharing his personal relationship life, they were never really that close. Their discussions would always be on different matters other than life.
So, how is it that Manik was the one who hurt her?

Ananya was now one step to maturity. She realised her mistake. All these heartbreaks, crying was for nothing but only caused by the fantasies that she made up by herself in her own world. After her realisation, Ananya was ashamed of her act, and was grateful that she didn’t did anything to hurt Manik or Natasha. She could’ve been the reason for making two lovers, no matter what their background be, get away from each other. And that she couldn’t afford. 

With the sudden change in her way of thinking, Ananya was able to feel back herself. She was wrong this entire time. And that she was now out of her web of thoughts, she was relieved. 

Still, a part of her just didn’t wanted to accept that. She knew it would hurt her, but surely she can get over this. She can be happy, once again. 

All these truly enjoyable moments of realisation made Ananya ecstatic. She grabbed her phone and texted Manik. 

-Tomorrow at 11pm? Same place?

It took few minutes for the ticks to change from single to double, and soon double blue tick marks beside her text. Ananya was waiting for a reply. But it has been minutes, yet no reply. 

That made her worry. Fast replies were one of the ways of Manik to make Ananya fall for him. He never missed the chance all while when he was online. But today was different. 

Hours went by, still no reply. 

-Hey? You there?

She texted him again, but almost a day passed and there was still no reply. After the second  message Manik wasn’t even online. And that made Ananya feel uneasy.

She started her same usual routine of overthinking, making things worse. Hours went by, it was Sunday evening, and yet no reply from Manik. A thousand times already she thought of calling him, but the thought of never calling each other before stopped her.