I Will

Before You Left Me-

We were young, I was hanging around other people all of the time and I barely interacted with you. You were too damn depressed for me to deal with all of the time... trying to find thousands of ways to kill yourself even when I tried to stop you. When I was around you, I tried to convince you out of those things but it is not my damn specialty! You wouldn't even listen to Mori as your doctor and father. He tried to help you, but because you never showed you wanted it, he stopped trying to help you out of it and let you do as you please! You are too overwhelming to deal with, and you're honestly a dick. Why can't you even try to get better, you god damn adrenaline junky?! Suicidal maniac?! I hate you so much, but I cannot seem to stop caring for you! I cannot seem to stop loving you! You're so damn frustrating!

Sigh...
...I miss you... Dazai... you fucking asshole...

At fifteen, we were partners, you promised me you'd be there for me but I never really was there for you as much as I should've been, I admit that... but you are such a headache-inducing pest that I understand why I hung around other people all of the time. But now you've left where I cannot see you when I want to. At least with you being in the Port Mafia, I could see you when I wanted to and sometimes when I didn't... do I have to apologize? I cannot find the correct words... or how I should, or even if I should. God dammit Dazai, you're so hard to deal with! ...Or is it me? Ugh! I hate you! But... I love you...