I Will

Two Years Before Weretiger-

Boss sent me on a job soon after he made me an executive, and I went out in the dark to do as asked. I don't know why he wanted me to do it, but I did it anyway, he's the boss. I was on my motorcycle and riding through the streets of Yokohama, and I saw the idiot Dazai leaving a bar! I honestly thought he was dead, but seeing him skipping around ended up irritating me so much that I had no control of the body when I got off of my motorcycle and punched him directly in the gut. He fell pretty far from me and coughed and I just lost it, "This is where you've been all this time?! Alive and drinking at any bar you could?! You're so pathetic!"

"Oh hi, Chuuya~! I didn't think I'd see you again anytime soon!" Dazai said happily as he got up and smiled his dumb-ass smile. "I also was hoping this meeting wouldn't start as harsh as this, but I gotta expect it with you~!"

Dazai is speaking so casually to me, doesn't he understand that I'm highly pissed with him?! He's really irritating me more than he already did! I couldn't help but ask angrily, "Why the hell did you leave me?!" Dazai's eyes widened and he sighed and said in his serious tone, "Chuuya, I left because I wanted to. You constantly left me to my own in the mafia, and when I leave once to possibly better myself, you lose it." He seemed really pissed off, but his calm ass just showed up to answer.

"Better yourself?! You really think you can change from what you were?!"
Dazai looked away from me and sighed, "Of course I don't think I can change, but I can have at least a little hope to the idea. I want to help people instead of killing them."
"You of all people wants to HELP people?!" I asked in disbelief. "You really think you can? Osamu Dazai, an executive of the Port Mafia wants to HELP people?!"

Dazai was quiet and he shook his head and turned to leave, "I'm not dealing with you right now, Chuuya." He said and my heart sunk and I calmed down a bit but all that could come now was regretfully, some tears... I grabbed Dazai's arm, "P-please don't, Dazai..." I begged and I felt Dazai tense up, "Please just give us a few minutes to talk... please don't leave... at least right now! Y-you jerk!"

Dazai turned to look at me and I moved my hat to hide my face in it so he doesn't see I'm crying, "P-please... just a few minutes..." I begged again.

Dazai is stiff, he obviously has no idea what he should do, "Ch-Chuuya... you're the one that never wanted me around throughout our entire time in the mafia together. What is... wrong?" He asked, holding his other hand on my hat and moving it down. I tried to hide more in it and Dazai took it from me, "I cannot hear you good if you're muffling in your gaudy hat like that..." he tried to joke and I looked up at him angrily as tears laid in the corners of my eyes, "Why'd you leave me without a word like that..? I thought you were dead... you idiot..."

"Dead? Why would you care about that, Chuuya? If I was, why would you care?" Dazai asked.
"I don't know why I would! I just would, okay?!" I yelled at Dazai, hitting his chest with my hat a few times, then I laid my forehead into it. "You're such an idiot, you know that?" I said to Dazai who stiffened up more at me laying my forehead in his chest like that.
After some silence, Dazai finally questioned quietly more to himself then to me, "I'd... inconvenience you if I were to die..?"

I looked up at Dazai after wiping my tears away, "I hate to say that... but I guess you could infer that..." I said and Dazai froze completely. "Dazai..?" I asked, slapping his face, "Dazai! What the hell is wrong with you?!" I slapped him again and Dazai didn't even react. "Dazai! Stop it! You're scaring me!" I yelled, grabbing his vest and pulling at it.

Soon Dazai blinked fast and looked down at me, "Chuuya... what's wrong?" He asked. I looked up at him with tears escaping my eyes again and asked angrily, "Were you even listening to me?!"
Dazai grinned his dumb grin at me and said, "Don't worry about it! Never say my death would inconvenience you again, please~"

I cocked a brow at him and wiped the tears from my eyes again, and I pushed him on the ground, "God, I hate you!" I said angrily and Dazai sighed in relief and said, "Good because I hate you too~"

"You're such a prick..." I muttered, "...making me worry for you by not responding to anything!" I added and Dazai shook his head, "You're not worried for me, no one does." He shrugged and turned to leave again but I stopped him by hugging him from behind. "Dazai! Please don't!" I said.

"Chuuya... why are you so affectionate right now~? Is there something you want?" Dazai teased me after pausing for a moment in shock and slight fear. "I'm just glad to know you're alive..." I muttered and Dazai whimpered a bit and said, "You should... shut up now." He tried to get me off of him. I let go reluctantly and said, "Give me my damn hat back, you asshole..."

"Nah, I think I'll keep it, it's gaudy anyway, why would you want it~?" Dazai asked, putting my hat on his head and I growled and jumped up trying to get it, "Give it back, asshole!" Dazai began to playfully run away and I followed angrily. "Give it!" I yelled.

Dazai stopped running and took my hand, twirling me then holding me close to him, "You're not getting this gaudy hat back~" he teased and as I blushed at him holding me to himself, he smirked playfully and dropped me. He took my hat off his head and began to spin it on his finger, walking away and whistling. "I'm going to kick your ass!" I yelled, getting up and running after Dazai, who began to laugh and ran away with my hat.

We got to a large tree and Dazai sat on the ground in front of it, leaning on the trunk, he looked at my hat and then at me and said, "Think fast!" He threw it at me and I caught it. As he relaxed against the trunk, I stared, walked a little closer but stopped myself and looked at my hat with a sigh.

I miss him... I miss him holding me, I miss him being there with me, kissing me even, loving me... does he still feel how he did in the mafia with me..? We never really broke up, nor did we really officially got together... does he still love me..? I looked at the inner part of the hat and read Rimbaud's name on it, and teared up, "If you were yourself, and knew you were basically my dad, what would you tell me to do, Rimbaud..? I miss him, but I don't want to be hurt again..." I muttered like I was talking to Rimbaud, and I could hear, 'Spend the night with him, he cannot remain by your side for long, but tonight he can be, son... be happy for tonight'.

I look at Dazai, who's resting against the tree, and I texted Boss to tell him that I am going to be late to the job, he asked why and I just told him that I'm having troublesome emotions and he understood and said that I can take some time, but get the job done as soon as I can. It doesn't need to be done at the exact hour he told me.

I thanked Mori then I went over to Dazai and sat by him, but he laid down and pulled me down beside him. "I wish I could be with you again..." he said and I blushed and looked up at him, "Y-you do?" 
"Yes, Chuuya... where I could be better to you, take you on a sweet date and hold you, but you deserve someone better... I deserve someone to treat me like dirt on their shoe if anything."
"How could you say that?"
"Because it's true Chuuya, you deserve someone who will treat you like the God you are~" he teased lightly.
"Shut up... I don't want anyone other than you..."
Dazai sighed and held me close, "Chuuya, please don't say that... you'll make it harder than it already is..." he said sadly.
"But I don't want anyone else... I want to see your plans of sweet things with me... I want to see you being you with me..." I said, almost crying again.
"You said I couldn't change, so I deserve someone as horrible as I am... you deserve someone as loving as you are..." Dazai said, taking my gloves off and holding my hands, kissing them lightly.
I looked up at Dazai, curling up closer to him, "Please don't, Dazai..." I begged, holding Dazai's hands as a calico cat came over to us and curled up against my back with a meow.
"It is true... but tonight, though I wish we could stay here like this forever, I can do the small things I want, and this is it..." Dazai said softly, holding my hands by his lips and kissing them lovingly.
"D-Dazai..." I stuttered, almost crying.
"Can you promise me something, Chuuya?" Dazai asked.
"Yes... anything..." I said softly, looking up at him pleadingly.
"Tell me when you find that someone, so I will know you're happy." Dazai said softly and I hid in his chest, "B-But... Dazai..."
"Promise me." Dazai repeated and I looked up at him and nodded.

"...I will."