I Will

Before We Met-

You really are too much, aren't you Chuuya~? Hee~Hee~!

But before we met, I honestly was way more closed off from other people and quiet. Yeah, I locked myself in a room when I knew you to not interact with others, but compared to how I was before I met you, even Mori would agree, I was at least a little more open to him and you, even Odasaku and Ango, but I met them around the same time I met you.

Jeez, I don't know if that was me growing up a bit but even though you stopped hanging around me as often, you gave me some motivation to make new friends which were Odasaku and Ango. But I'm sure you even notice that I am more playful than I am cruel now since I left the mafia... the Agency has really given me more motivation to stay alive another day. Yes, I still try multiple suicide methods, but those are just so I feel something... I hate the feeling of actually dying that I try and keep myself alive even though I enjoy the feeling of an adrenaline rush... I still hate pain and blood but I can't help to do what I do... I still dream of the day of my death to be convenient and beautiful...

Chuuya, I thank you for constantly leaving me throughout the time of mine in the mafia. But I still hate that you did that anyway. It's confusing, but I'm glad you ignored me because when Odasaku told me to be a good man... I blew up your car as a one last 'fuzz you' and left with no care in my heart for leaving you.

...At least I thought I didn't care... it felt like I didn't...

...But somehow seeing you again from afar, that care in my heart showed itself. Knowing how upset it made you, though you say you partied about it, I felt care for you... I'm disgusted with myself, and I tell myself that I hate you, but I somehow don't...