As Humanly Wizard

5. Commotion - da faq are those ugly things?!

Brett had no idea how this happened, no idea at all, but he was moving boxes as they were moving into that "haunted" flat with that crazy woman, Edwina, some lost soul of some sort. Some crazy lost soul.

In fact saying that Edwina was crazy was an understatement.

"Eddyyyyyy!!!"

"What the heck is wrong now Brett.. OMG"

Brett stood with Edwina clinging onto him, dangling off his neck again.

"Eddy, I swear, do something now or..."

"Edwina! What are you doing !?"

"Well you have the anti-petrifying spell on yourselves but that doesn't mean I still cannot help myself to hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim. Oooooh, he so fine, y'know what he looks best wearing? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

Eddy cringed.

"Oh c'mon Edwina you promised you'd behave!! If we can't live in harmony we are gonna have to play hard and you know who's gonna win..."

Edwina glared back at Eddy.

"Ooooh, I don't like being tested like that!! You wanna play dirty? Oh, I can play dirty, lah!!!"

Edwina let out a shriek and the walls of the unit elevated slightly, creating a small gap between where the walls joined the floor. Though the gap, emerged, one after another, flat brown insects, the most disgusting looking insects Brett and Eddy had ever seen. Eddy in particular was so mortified by them he was petrified without Edwina's spell.

Brett stammered in disgust;

"W.. what the f..f*ck are those things.. are they magic or are they ..real!?"

Brett only had to give the living room a quick once over stern glance and the walls went back aligning themselves back to the floor. He then flicked his hand and the little brown bugs that were all over the floor all disintegrated into nothing.

"Da faq those ugly things were real!? That's it Edwina I've just about had enough of you!!"

Brett glared at Edwina and she was captured and immobilised in a ball of light. She was then shrunk into the size of a tennis ball. Brett grabbed an empty pickle jar from the kitchen and popped Edwina inside and closed the lid. He then looked up at Eddy who stood frozen.

Brett gently touched his cheek and Eddy flinched.

"Eddy? Eddy!? Are you alright?"

Eddy had his eyes closed as he whispered.

"Those things.. are they all gone now..?"

"Yeah, all gone. I got rid of them. OMG Eddy are you alright?"

"I feel sick..."

Eddy's knees buckled. Brett swiftly caught him.

"OMG... here.. hang onto me"

Brett grunted as he carried the brunt of Eddy's weight and helped him lie down on the sofa.

"Your face has completely drained of colour.. I've never seen you so pale Eddy.."

"Heh.. do I look like you in winter?"

Brett chuckled.

"Yeah, well almost. You look hella nicer than me though."

Eddy smiled.

"I find that hard to believe.. but thanks."

Brett turned his head sharply towards the corridor when he heard some noise.

"I'll be right back Eddy, just wanna check on that noise"

Once he saw Eddy's nod, Brett stepped away from the sofa and poked his head out into the corridor. It was Edwina trapped in the pickle jar. She was banging against the glass.

"Breeeeeeeeeeeett!!"

Her shriek was considerably quieter, thanks to her miniaturised size and the glass jar.

Brett picked up the bottle and held it up near his face and stared at Edwina through the glass. He cast a stern look that was meant to scare her instead she blushed. It quietened her down anyway.

"Breeeeeeeeeeeett, you so nice. You let me out, lah."

Brett furrowed his eyebrows.

"You have to talk quietly otherwise I won't listen."

"Okay, okay I promise, lah"

"And no more bugs. You do that again and I will banish you from this world, I swear."

"Okay, okay."

"And you will apologise to Eddy."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?"

Brett showed Edwina the palm of his hand. He then outstretched his thumb and pinky in a straight line as if he was checking his reach on a piano. It was a common "ready" signal before a spell would be cast. Edwina knew this and she shut up instantly.

Brett removed the lid of the jar.

"You let me out and make me big again like before?"

"I will if you keep talking nicely like you are doing now and apologise to Eddy about the bugs."

"Ooookay..."

It seemed like Edwina thrived on positive reinforcement.

Eddy turned his head towards Brett as he approached the sofa with the opened pickle jar held his hand.

"Brett.. you.. you put her in a jar?"

"Yeah. Just temporarily until we know we can trust her to start over again."

"Start over again? You're sounding rather generous..?"

"Well, I think Edwina has something to tell you."

"Eddy I'm sorry about the bugs. I think they are the ugliest things in this human world and I promise I won't do it again."

"OMG... I actually have something in common with Edwina.."

Brett shrugged and let Edwina out of the jar. He waved his hand and she returned to her original size self.

"Oh Brett you so nice, you remind me of my ex, lah."

Brett's expression softened a bit.

"Oh.. um.. so you must miss him huh."

Edwina quipped back.

"No I don't. He was an ars*hole."

Brett was taken aback by the unexpected answer. Eddy let out a chuckle.

"Oh. Geez. Thanks."

"No, no, no, no. You just, only look like him. He was cute, too. But inside, you two are very different. You don't hit me."

That made both Brett and Eddy recoil in horror.

"OMG no."

Brett didn't think he could bring himself to do that. Sure Brett had captured her, shrunk her down, put her in a pickle jar and he wouldn't hesitate to banish her from this world but that was totally different from physically hitting somebody.

"What happened Edwina? I mean.. how did you end up like this anyway? How did you ...die?"

Edwina's reply was so soft, the two men could barely hear her.

"I died of a broken heart, lah..."