Love Me With All of Your Heart

Chapter 2

Beam

I spent Saturday night and Sunday morning laying down on our bed. I didn't cry because I was too shocked to even shed a tear. I never felt so unloved in my entire life. I close my eyes, recalling all of my moments with Forth.

There were times when I feel like Forth genuinely loves me. He smiled tenderly while we were making love. He entwined his fingers with mine. He caressed me so lovingly, like I was very important. He will kiss all over my body tenderly. He always made sure I reach my climax before he also reaches it. He always does whatever I want to do, always eat whatever food I want to eat, never complain about my weird taste in movies.

So what if he never hugs me in public? So what if he never cuddles with me? So what if he never took me to his family? So what if he never got jealous of me?

That's just the way he loves.

I never made a big deal out of anything.

Now I know what he is capable of when he is in love. He didn't do all that to me.

I sob. Oh God, why is this so painful?

Ren said to bear with it.

Bear with what?

I cried hard now, I am out of breath. I feel pain all over my body. My heart yearns for Forth. I want him now! I want him to tell me he loves me. Maybe the way he loves is changing. Maybe with me he doesn't feel the needs to do that.

Who am I kidding?

I look at the clock. It's almost I PM. Forth will be back in a few hours. I better go get shower and take care of my swollen eyes. Forth will be worry to see me like this. I put cold towel on my eyes to reduce the swollen.

I have made up my mind.

I will continue to love Forth. I will pretend I never had that conversation with Ren. I will welcome him with open arms.

My love is enough for both of us.

I sit on the sofa with a cup of hot chocolate, waiting for Forth while watching a movie.

Click.

Forth opened the door and come inside with his bag. "Beam, I'm home."

"Welcome home, Forth." I come to him and hug him. Just like what I always do.

Forth frowns. He lifts my chin and stares at me. "What happened with your eyes?"

I laughed halfheartedly. "Oh, it's nothing. I just watched a very sad movie. My Sister's Keeper, you know that? I cried the whole movie." I walk to the kitchen. "I'll get you cold drink. You must be thirsty."

Forth drops himself on the sofa. "Yeah, today is really hot."

I come back with a big glass of cold water. He accepts and drinks fast. "Ahhh... you're a lifesaver."

I smiled, remembering that it was the very first thing that Forth said to me. I doubt he even remember that.

"Go and take a shower, Forth. I'll take care of your things."

"Okay." Forth grabs his towel and walks to the bathroom.

I take his bag and jacket. He never brought dirty clothes if he went to his parents' house. So I just put his bag in the cupboard and hang his jacket. I prepare snacks and drinks for both of us and continue to watch movie. It's Harry Potter, my favorite.

Forth is back and looks so fresh.

I smile at him and pat the sofa next to me. He grins and sit on the floor under the sofa instead. He cracks his neck and massages his own shoulder.