Love Me With All of Your Heart

Chapter 7

Note: This chapter contain mature content, but unfortunately, it's part of the story so it cannot be skipped. Sorry, guys  🙏🏻😉 

Forth

These past three months are the happiest time in my life. I court Beam as I should have done in the first place. I shower him with gifts and attention. I try to know more about Beam. I often talk with Phana and Kit. I interviewed them to find out everything about Beam. What he likes and doesn't like, his dreams, his struggles, his fears. I want to know everything.

At first, it was a bumpy road. Beam's friends don't accept me that easily. But I was stubborn. I kept on following them until they gave up and told me all I need to know about Beam.

Beam is still reluctant to accept my affection, but I can understand that. It will take a long time for him to believe me. I made him feel unloved for a long time. It must be hard for him to trust me. Sometimes I desperately want to just hold him tight and never let go. I want to bring him back to our condo and lock us both inside. But I need to wait. Beam is still hurt.

I put all my heart and soul in trying to win him back. My parents asked me why I never go home anymore because ever since I was starting to court Beam, I never went home. I told them the truth. I was always very close with my parents, especially my mom. They are cool parents. They accepted my sexuality from the start. They knew I was bisexual since I was 13, and even though they were shock at first, they accepted me for the way I am. They supported me. They were warm to Ren even if my mom didn't really like him.

I told my mom everything during our last video call. I cried and told my mom about how my stupidity and insecurity had cause Beam pain. I told my mom that I am doing everything I can to make Beam feels loved again.

Mom shed a tear. "I don't know whether I want to hug you or smack you in the head, Forth. You let Ren ruin you, and make you ruin your relationship with Beam."

"Beam is the love of my life, Mom. He just didn't know that..."

"The next time you're going home, take him with you!" said Mom. "And don't call me unless you got him back!"

"But, Mom...!"

My mom hung up on me.

I was never afraid to introduce Beam to my parents because of my parents.

I was afraid, just like Ren, he will think that I was moving too fast.

But I was so stupid. He was my boyfriend for eight months. Why was I still scared to bring him home?

If only I could turn back the time.

But I can't change the past. So, I need to work on my future. I need to make Beam mine again, because the world without Beam is a scary place...

Lately he is a bit cold towards me. I'm so scared. I'm afraid he will reject me and ask me to leave. I don't know if I can live without him anymore. So, I endure everything; his indifferent, his stoic face, anything. As long as I can still be with him.

"Thanks, Ai'Forth," said Beam casually when I take him home to his dorm after school.

"Can I... can I come inside?" I said nervously.

Beam stares at me.

Please say yes! Please say yes! Please say yes!

"Okay."

YES!

I come inside his dorm. I rarely come inside, even when we were still together and haven't move to our condo. I was avoiding temptation so even if he offered me to go inside, I always said many excuses.