FBI : love department || Park Jimin ☁️

15- truth

⚠️trigger waring.: mentions of suicide⚠️

Namjoon made a cup of warm tea slide up to the younger boy, the heater inside of the apartment was turned on, but outside the window... it was a cold night in Miami.

<she was talking about the comment you made about your warden's family>

the older said out of nowhere, Jimin furrowed his brows, he would ask 'how do you know about it' but it was pretty obvious so he skipped that part and didn't say anything

<Y/n hasn't been in a romantic relationship for a while now, the last time she had... left her with pain and a grave to take care of. His name was Charlie, he was a boy who grew up in the countryside of New Jersey, in a farmer's family. He was a farmer's son. His biggest dream was to become an actor but his family wasn't rich, they couldn't afford the drama courses or send him away to the city center since there weren't many opportunities where they used to live. Charlie and Y/n met in school and they fell in love. Ever since they started dating Y/n tried to help her boyfriend to save some money so he could pay the year at the drama school with a room. Let's make clear that Y/n's family wasn't rich either, unlike Charlie's they never had serious economical problems, they were stable, but she couldn't help him more than taking a part-time job and putting the money aside...

flashback

<baby you...>

his eyes glistened with tears making you smile and throw your arms around his neck

<... you didn't need to>

the boy chocked out as you held his shaking shoulders, you just gave him a pack with the money you earned in 6 months from your job at the fast-food near the street.

<I really can't accept it>

Charlie said as he wiped his tears and tried to hand you the money back, you stuffed your hands into your pocket

<no way, I'm not taking that back, that's for you>

the boy shook his head

<I appreciate, I love you, but I really can't...>

you raised your hand making him a sign to stop talking

<shut up and take it, I know that's the amount you need to cover up the rest of the rent>

you crossed your arms on your chest and looked at him with a loving sparkle in your eyes, he pouted

<but baby... you said you needed money for the trip>

you let out a giggle and rolled your eyes playfully

<, of course, I said that dummy, just because I knew that if I told you I wanted to take the job for you... well... you would never allow me, my trip is already paid for as a birthday present from my uncle don't worry, that is for you>

his mouth fell open as he wanted to say something but no words were coming out. When you took a job it wasn't actually a big deal, you still saw each other at school and the afternoon Charlie already worked so he could collect enough money to achieve his dreams, you had too much free time so you came to the conclusion it wouldn't harm anyone to help your beloved boyfriend a little.

<are you sure?>

he asked once again and you nodded as he finally gave in. His arms closed around your waist as he hugged you tightly, his nose buried in your neck, inhaling the addicting smell of your favorite perfume

<I don't know how I'll ever pay you back>

he mumbled against your shoulder

<I'm paid back every time I see you happy>

end of flashback

In the end, Charlie went to the drama college in the city, Y/n kept her work, and with her and Charlie's money, a little help from both her and his parents they had enough to pay 3 years of rent, school books, and all. So he did. He went to school among all city boys, when they found out where he came from they started making fun of him because he was a 'lame farmer's son' they started excluding him from activities and discussions. They laughed behind his back and spread some rumors to the point that random people who walked by him through the hallways pointed him out and laughed with their friends. He had none in the big city, only himself, some prejudices and a big amount of people who told him to go back hoe his garden because he wasn't worth anything more.

Charlie never said a word, he kept every bad word, every insult to himself and to his family and his girlfriend showed only a side that never existed. A side where everything was marked by happiness. Sometimes we don't realize how much a word can hurt. Charlie was that hurt that he decided to end every his suffering, he took his life away on the 7th of July 2012, the only thing he left behind was a trail of hate and some letters. One of them was to Y/n

flashback

you held the piece of paper with your shaking hands, your world was falling apart and you could do nothing to stop the process. You felt powerless against the major forces.

dear Y/n

baby, I'm so sorry. I'm not strong enough for this world, I'm not strong enough to keep up with their words, every time I close my eyes I see their fingers pointing at my dirty figure. They are right, I don't deserve to be here, I don't deserve to live, I don't deserve a future. Don't ever think any of this was your fault, you made me the happiest person on this planet and even tho I never deserved that overwhelming feeling of love, I'm grateful I experienced it. I'm grateful I met you. I'm sorry I never warned you I was leaving... I wasn't even able to say a proper goodbye... I'm a coward. I'm sorry. I already retired from the course and they gave me the money back, keep them I won't need them anymore but you will. I'm so thankful for your help. Thanks to you I experienced what the life I wanted would feel like.

I love you to Paris and back
Your Charlie :)♡

end of flashback

the money was actually there but Y/n never took them, instead, she gave that money to Charlie's parents. His parents invested them into a tribunal cause against the school for not taking steps against the bullying episode which happened inside their building. But they lost. That's why Y/n decided to become a cop, she wanted justice, justice for the real victims. When we lose someone we really love we need to learn how to live with the memory, not with a physical presence, this lesson was hard for Y/n to absorb, she went to therapy for over 2 years>

Namjoon looked over the table and he caught Jimin wiping away a tear which slipped down his cheek

<I feel so horribly, I said that without thinking, never expected something like this>

Goodbyes hurt the most when the story was left halfway... on a cliffhanger.