I Am Seer - Book 3

Chapter 1 - Beginnings & Middles

It was desperately cold. His fingers were numb with the chill, but still, he continued onwards. Freezing winds—holding a promise of the winter to come—tossed his long, unkempt hair about. He had changed, returning to something of his old self before that mask had dropped, and there was a wild, devil-may-care look about him now. Seeing him felt so real, I could almost have reached out and touched him, but walls of dreamworld stopped me.

Beside me and behind him, the second figure was faceless, but I knew it was Ayan, faithfully following despite the harsh conditions. Large raindrops began to pelt them as they climbed, but they didn't stop until they reached a small ledge on the cliffside, and even then, Kotaro would have kept going if not for Ayan's hand on his elbow holding him back. He turned to look at his companion, his eyes landing on me, too, and I felt the determination and emotion raging behind those familiar, dark eyes.

"You're going to kill yourself like this, Kota." Ayan said firmly.

"Maybe you all should have thought of that a long time ago." Kotaro's voice was rough.

"Dammit, Kota, but I thought I was doing the right thing. If I could go back, I wouldn't have let Martimus go with her. He's the only one who can try to hold you back when you get like this." Ayan heaved the words as if exasperated, as though he'd said them—or something very similar—countless time already.

"His presence wouldn't have changed anything." Kotaro growled in return.

"Look, Bohai went with them. You can rest a little without worrying: he knows these mountains, and he can take care of them." Ayan pleaded, and I understood that his worry was not for his own health but for Kotaro's.

"That was never his job." Kotaro seethed, anger lighting his eyes as a ferocity I'd never witnessed before took hold of him.

Ayan sighed in resignation, unable to fight the enraged monster before him. "What are we going to do when we find her, Kota? Think about it: if this is what she wants, who are we to stop her?"

"If you think I'm going to just leave her to run off to her death, you're insane. I made a promise, and I'm not going to let the tribes or Erik or anyone else get in the way of that." Kotaro's voice turned rough and emotionless. "This isn't what she wants anyway. She feels she owes it to someone to give herself up—or worse, that she's not good enough—so I can't let her do this without at least talking about it."

"Talking about it? You think you're in the frame of mind to talk about anything right now?" Ayan scoffed. "You've been a raging madman since she left."

"She promised me we could talk it over together, and then she just ran off without so much as a goodbye—with your help, I might add. So, yes, I am angry, and when I find her, she's going to know that, because I, at least, want to pursue honesty in...whatever there still is between us." The accusation in his voice was unmistakable, and I flinched with Ayan at the sound.

"You think you're going to be able to find her? Kota, it's been months." Ayan protested as if trying to be a voice of reason in the situation. "She could be anywhere."

"Then I will go anywhere." Kotaro snarled. "You don't understand: I can't—I won't give up. Not this time."

Seeming to understand the better part of discretion was to remain silent, Ayan simply sighed. "Well, we should at least rest here until the rain slacks off a bit." He finally said, and Kotaro nodded begrudgingly.

As he slumped back against the moss-covered stone of the mountain, I drew nearer to Kotaro. The wildness in his eyes hadn't entirely abated, but there was a sort of sadness backing the anger now that I got a closer look. Drawing a breath, he looked out at the rain, and not for the first time, I felt myself drawn into him.