I Am Seer - Book 3

Chapter 3 - Apologies

Azrul cleared his throat and rubbed his lips together as the door closed behind Kotaro, his eyes focusing on the ground. After everyone's reactions and accusations the day before, he must feel like some horrid barbarian for revealing the truth, and my heart went out to him. None of this was his fault, but his and Kotaro's friendship might suffer greatly because of it.

In a way, I was grateful to him for telling me the rest of the plan that had been so expertly hidden from me. Yes, it was difficult to hear, but at least I knew what they actually wanted from me—regardless of what I decided to do with that knowledge.

Without warning, Azrul crumpled to the ground on his knees, his hands landing just in front of my feet. I took a quick step back in surprise, my eyes widening. From the little I knew of him, I had expected a diplomatic apology and possibly a conversation on how I was doing this morning, but this...

"I know it is brash—hell, I know how cruel it is of me to even speak to you right now, but I—I can't help it." His voice was unsteady with emotion. "You must know: it's not for my own sake that I'm here now but for the sake of my people—for all the people of all the tribes. I ask that you wouldn't scorn our lives. So many lives depend on you, and if you abandon us now, we will all die up on this mountain, but worse than the deaths of our people and cultures would be the death of hope that has so recently been rekindled in this land."

Tears flooded my vision as he bowed even lower. He was asking me to die—to not run away like Kotaro had said. I tried to think of him as cruel—perhaps that would help me dismiss what he was saying—but deep down inside, I knew what he was saying was fair. Without me, there was no hope, and that was why so many had fought so valiantly to keep me alive.

"Without you, the evil that is spreading through this land—whether with Erik or another at its helm—won't be stopped." He murmured. "It won't stop with our deaths." A strength entered his voice, and he looked up at me for the first time. "You can run now, my lady, and it will preserve your life for a time, but if you think the darkness won't spread to wherever you go—won't rip your pursuit of living peacefully into shreds—then you are fiercely mistaken."

At the sight of his tear-stained face, something within me broke. He was right. Deep down inside, I'd been well-aware that running away from this problem wouldn't ever solve it, but when Kotaro was holding me in his arms, I'd let myself believe he could somehow hold my destiny at bay.

Memories of the broken peoples we'd seen over the course of our journey poured over me as my own tears ran free. More than that, I recalled all the barbarities Kotaro and I had faced in Erik's court. How many others had suffered even crueler fates, and how many more would perish if I allowed my cowardice to overtake me?

No doubt, Erik was on the verge of finding the tribes, and when he did, there would be more menageries filled with cages, but instead of beasts, these cages would hold humans. Screams of terror filled my ears as children were ripped from their mothers arms and cut to pieces for sport, and tear stained faces looked to the heavens, begging for release from the chains of this horrible world. The outer court where they had sought to end my life ran with blood, and fear ruled.

Gasping, I fell to my own knees at the sight. That horror was what would happen if I left. Yes, I could run from it for a while, but just as Azrul said, it would catch up to me eventually, and someday, it would be my children who were torn from my hands and brutalized before my eyes. I was the only thing standing in the way of this future, and running meant everyone that had sacrificed themselves for me was worthless in my eyes.

"I know how cruel it is for us to ask you to give up your life when you've only just begun to live it, but please believe me: I would not ask this of you if it were not the only way." Azrul reached out and took my hand with such gentleness that my heart broke.