𝙐𝙡𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚

Chapter 18

Brooklyn Baby - Lana Del Rey

RAQUEL'S P.O.V

Ever since Roman and Vin told me about Seth and the Mexican mafia, I've been very distant from my family. I barely eat, drink, I just lock myself in my room.

My flashbacks are becoming more frequent, the only thing that helps me is my sleeping pills. But sometime I still have nightmares.

It still hurts thinking about that whole situation. I cannot go back to Jose, I would rather die. Especially since now I'm with my family, he will probably use them to hurt me.

Jose is evil but Polo is the devil. When Jose wasn't around that's when he does his worst.

I haven't even talked to any of my friends, I haven't picked up any of Dennis' calls. I have been avoiding my friends in school especially Ace and Andres.

During lunch I sit alone. At first Set and Darlene tried to find out what's wrong but after giving the cold shoulder they gave up and leave me alone.

In class I don't talk to anyone, I haven't stopped tutoring Andres, I just talk about the work and leave as soon as it's time to go. He tries to do his usual flirting but I blow him off. I don't know what he's playing at.

I've been working on some poetry, it helps me forget about how awful my life is now.

'You move like water sweet baby sweet waiter
Making the night smile to no one you cater
Silent wood worker from midnight till later
My lover my laughter my arm or my maker
The way that I feel with you is something like aching
Inside my stomach the cosmos are baking
A universe hung like a mobile
The alignment of these planets unique
In me the earth moves around the sun
No land all sea
Water world
Sun chaser
Tropic cancer'

Ever since Andres and I shared that passionate kiss, he hasn't left my head. If I'm not thinking about Jose and Polo, I'm thinking about Andres and Ace. Even though I kissed Andres, don't feel the same connection with him unlike
Ace.

I think Ace remembers me from that club and us fucking. He always gives me this awkward look it's kind of funny.

I've been fighting a lot, I've done a total of 20 matches in 3 weeks. And I still haven't been beaten.

Dad has been to some of those fights, he always tries to talk to me either after the fight or next day but I always blank him.

Denni hasn't been to any of these fights, I haven't even told him about any of this.

Lately my ribs and shoulder has been killing me. It hurts to breath doing anything except eating and walking, my ribs has turned yellow, purple and a hint of black. I really need to get checked out.

My shoulder has been killing me I can't lift my left arm that high. It is really swollen and slightly purple. The makeup isn't helping it either.

My abdomen also hurts, I think it's my period but I don't bleed.

Once I escaped Jose and Polo, I discovered that women have a period which I never knew. I have only had my period one time and it was so painful. I literally passed out for 3 hours.

Usually I have extreme pain but no bleeding. I have never told anyone or went to a doctor. I'm too ashamed, I don't want the pity.

I decide to get up and face the music. I go to the shower, after showering I put on a little bit of makeup, so I don't look dead. Well more dead than I already feel.

I look in the mirror to see my skin is pale, the melanin is so little I almost look like Roman. My curls are matted down because of me always lying down.