The Damn Lip Bite

20. A Conflict

Warren

When it was 7, I knew I had to say a word. We've been sitting infront of each other for an a hour straight and not saying a word unless it was "pass the lighter" or "get another pack". I believe we've gone thgough two packs in an hour, Brian mostly smoking whilst I chipped in with small puffs.

"Brian that's enough, we have a compeition tommorrow and don't smoke your lungs out or you'll loose stamina," I pointed out taking the ciggarette he held onto between his index and middle finger and pressed the head of the cigarette and eliminated it.

He didn't say anything but I could tell by his expression that he was dissapointed. He sighed and stood up, grabbing his bag along the way and started walking the opposite direction we walked at on the way to the park.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" I half yelled, he turned around quickly and I felt like raging on the smile plastered on his face.

"To Ashleigh's, she knows how to make me feel better." He smiles and turns around and I nearly lost a hold of my scream.

"We have a bloody competition tommorrow Bryan!" I wasn't exactly sure if that would change his mind. I think he's eager to win the competition but I think he'd much rather feel better.

"Fuck the bloody competition," He chants while walking.

"I'm here," I breathed out, he turns around in a frame shot and walked towards me.

I was just frozen as he walked to me with masculine steps which I wasn't sure was of grief or rage. When he was just a foot away, he grabbed both sides of my face and smashed his lip against mine eagerly. He asked for entrance immediately but I didn't give in, I was too high up about what was happening.

"Not tonight, I'll see you at the pool tomorrow. I'm sorry Warren, I...love you." He says softly, twitching the left part of his lip to smile then he walked away again.

I don't mean to exaggerate but what the actual fuck. I was warned already but this conflict with Bryan was driving me to an infinite absurdity. I wasn't sure what to do besides go home. Will I bawl my eyes out, go on netflix and curl up in my duvét? Pretty sure that's what girls do when they conflict with their man.

But me and Bryan were differnt though. We both knew for fuck's sake that we changed each other; he gave me a reason to not kill myself, yet & I showed him how to love.

I felt like bitch slapping Ashleigh to be honest. I'm pretty sure Bryan was going to go to Ashleigh for the sex but hell knows I'm more than willing to have him inside of me or I inside of him. I would even be willing to let him tie me up and blindfold me and break my ass apart, just any pain I wouln't mind as long as it was him and I know it was of our love for each other.

I'm no therapist but I consider myself a good person to vent at. My advice aren't at it's best but I can listen and won't pressure whoever want to vent to tell me something they're not willing too. And I don't think Ashleigh can do that, honestly. Give good emotional support whilst giving Bryan a blow job to the end of the world? Goals man.

When I started to walk home, I was still silent and unsure of what to do. So I went into 7-11 and baught remedies I usually used when I'm in deep shit and I didn't know what to do; cut.

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*******TRIGGER WARNING (learn more about in the end)**************

I wasn't sure if I went too deep or not. It wasn't a fortunate time to cut but it was all I could do. Since I would be in trunks tommorrow, I decided to cut on my waist where my trunk's waist band should cover it. By now the cut was about two inches long but not even to an 1/8 of an inch deep. It didn't stop bleeding though and much to my concern, I was gladly amused by the blood.

I couldn't feel anything, I wans't able to feel anything before cutting in the first place ever since the conflict. The 'release' was a short feeling that spasmed quickly and the red liquid continued to drip from my waist down to my bathfroom floor.

When I felt like I could flood with blood, I decided to start cleaning my no-pain-pain. I took a face towel and soked it well in cold water. Most people liked hot or warm water becuse it kills the bacteria but I honestly wouldn't mind if it gets infected.

I started to wipe the blood around the cut and pressed down on the cut itself in an attempt to stop the bloodflow. It would take a while to completely stop the bloodflow but for now, reducing it would be a priority.

When I could already see the blood seeping through the towel, I took it off and saw how the blood flow reduced but was technically still slipping here and there. I took the shower head and rinsed my waist with it and kept squeezing the cut to get rid of more blood.

When it was only droplets, I took my antiseptic spray and took a deep breath then pushed down on the pump and the antiseptict stung on my cut. I sitll don't know why some like the feeling of the stinging antisepticts give but we all have our on ways right?

When the blood stopped flowing, I put some butterfly stitches on both sides of my cut which was open to about an inch. I sealed everything, cleaned up my bathroom and was about to walk out when I groaned only to realise I've cut my left wrist too.

How could I forget? Just because it wasn't gaping or anything, I forgot about it. Shit, that's the most unfortunate thing. How will I hide them tomorrow exactly?

Note:

The reason I put a trigger warning there because I figured it could trigger someone into self harm. As a self harmer, reading self harm is a trigger so I put it there for the sake of it :)

The 'i'm no therapist but i can listen' is true. I'll leave my kik at the end of this note and message me if ya need to vent. I wont judge you or anything cos wtf would I?

Kik: allymarice
Skullz <3