Prevailing Love

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I drop the kids off at school and head to Spencer to get to work on the Greece deal. My dad wants me to close it today; however, I just can't see that happening. I am too distracted with Steffy being away. I am constantly looking up at the picture of her that is located on my desk. A picture of her is situated in the upper left corner of my desk. There is a family picture of us in the center of the desk and in the right hand corner is a picture of just Steffy and I from our last wedding. I miss her so much. I truly hate being away from her. I feel incomplete and lost without her.

Even though we reconciled all our issues that we have had between us over the course of the last 13 plus years, I still feel guilty for all the pain I caused her. She has always been a queen, and I should've treated her like that always, from the very beginning. I don't know why she ever gave me another chance. I am glad and grateful she did, but I in no way deserved her or that chance.

Once I dealt with my feelings, the pain, waffling, and indecision that I caused and truly let Hope go, my relationship, my feelings for Steffy were able to truly blossom. They came to life and became much deeper, deeper than I ever thought was possible. I think they were always deep, but I pushed against how deep they truly were, and acting on them because of Hope being in the picture. After I declared my love to Steffy when she was pregnant with Cooper and that I was going to fight to win her back, and letting Hope go in the process, it was as if I let a genie out of his bottle. My feelings for her became overpowering. I truly was able to be in tuned to my body, heart and mind and how it deeply it reacts to Steffy and the connection that we share, and how it was nothing like what I shared with Hope. Feeling those emotions and feelings is the best thing I have ever felt. They say, that over time, the feelings that your other half stirs up in you diminishes over time, but it never has with Steffy. If anything, it has become stronger and more potent. It is the best feeling I've ever experienced. I thought that I loved Steffy a great deal before we finally got back together a few years ago, but that love was nothing compared to the love that I felt for Steffy each time she gave birth to one of our children and being able to firsthand experience her being a mother. The bike mama, thrill seeker, go with the flow, loving life and its experiences turned Mom, and how she evolved into the best mother in the whole world was amazing to witness, and the more that I watched of her the deeper my love for her became.

With all the clarity I have about how I feel about Steffy and how everything has progressed in the last few years and my deep my love for her has gotten day after day, I've realized that the love I thought I had for Hope, never even came close to how I felt or even feel about Steffy and my love for her. Being Steffy's husband and our little family together are my greatest achievements. I could never do another thing in this world; it'd be okay with me because of those achievements.

My phone pings, bringing me out of my thoughts.

Steffy: Headed out on an afternoon hike, then margarita night at the restaurant in the hotel.

She sends me a selfie of her and her girlfriends all dressed in hiking gear and backpacks.

Me: Still a bit jealous. Have fun.

Me: Are we still going to FaceTime with the kids later?

Steffy: Of course. I wouldn't miss it for anything. I will call before we go downstairs to margarita night.

Me: Great. Kids will be excited. Be careful. I love you so much.

Me: PS: I hope your legs aren't too tired when you come home.