Prevailing Love

Chapter 39

"Everything is looking good, Steffy. Again, unfortunately we have the same prognosis for Baby B, but outside of that everything is where it should be," Dr. Aubert comments after finishing up the ultrasound. "Baby B's heartbeat is still as strong as ever."

Steffy smiles, "Yeah, and both are still as active as ever."

Dr. Aubert sits on the rolling chair next to Steffy. "You only have another 3 weeks to go before you will be considered full term. I think it's time to start thinking about delivery and what happens after that and the care of Baby A."

"Okay," Steffy sighs feeling defeated.

"Mrs. Spencer, I know this is hard for you, but none of this is your fault. You've done everything that you were supposed to do. There was nothing that we could've done differently to change the outcome."

I inwardly sigh with anger. I know that they don't mean to say stuff like that, or they have to, but it doesn't make things any easier on us as the parents.

"I just wish we could've done more. I wish there was something out there that could've helped or even prevented something like this from happening. I feel like I will never fully be able to recover from this. This is my child."

"I understand..."

"You couldn't possibly," Steffy inadvertently sneers.

"No, I've gone through something like this, but I have lost a child. My two year old daughter, drowned in our family pool. My older daughter forgot to lock the pool door and my two year old escaped outside and fell into the pool. It was only five minutes from the time we last saw her until the time we found her floating in the pool. Stuff like that changes you, forever. Trust me, I know. It can eat you alive. Which is why, I want to talk to you both about what happens after the birth of Baby A."

"I'm sorry," Steffy says with sincerity. She looks down as almost as if she is ashamed of her remark.

"Thank you," Dr. Aubert manages. "It was the most difficult and painful things I've ever been through. Even up until this day. I was drowning myself at what had happened and blaming myself, thinking I was careless or could've done things differently. I denied to myself for a long time that there was a problem that I needed to face emotionally, whether it was my fault or not. I wasn't able to rectify my feelings and heal from it because I blamed myself. I was drinking to ease the pain. I became very aggressive and withdrawn. So much to the point that my wife threatened to leave me and take our other daughter with her, if I didn't get the support and help I needed."

"Wow," Steffy whispers barely looking at Dr. Aubert. "I can't imagine what you went through. That's horrible."

"Exactly why I am telling you this Steffy. No matter what happens I want to save you from going down that hole."

Steffy just nods, unable to form words.

"Okay," I relent. "What exactly happens once our son is born?"

"Since he is still alive at this point, he most likely will make it to birth. Once he is here, he will be taken and his head will be covered and he will be made as comfortable as possible. He most likely will pass within a couple hours, the most within a day or so. You will be able to hold your child, most parents don't only because bonding occurs which only makes it harder on the parents when the child does eventually pass. A therapist will be bought in to provide emotional support during labor and shortly after until you are discharged from the hospital. We try to support families in the best and most helpful way possible. If there is something you need or want, please speak up."