I STILL LOVE YOU, BUT...

CHAPTER 2

"Okay? That's what you said. Okay?" My best friend, Myra Banks, stares at me incredulously.

I nod glumly.

"And then you walked out? You do know your cheating husband is supposed to leave the house, not you, don't you? You didn't do anything wrong, why should you be the one to go?"

"Because," I say thickly, the tears not far now, "I can't stay in that house anymore. He's dirtied it. I'd be wondering if he brought her back when I wasn't around, if he did it with her in our bed, the couch, the study, the dining table..." I suck in air noisily through my mouth; my nose is clogged so bad I can't breathe properly. "So I ran." I look at her, whisper, "I couldn't --- I can't --- live there. I can't. I can't. I don't think I can ever go back there, Myra."

"Oh, Amy..." Myra's eyes fill with tears. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so, so sorry --- that asshole...so you think it's Cora?"

"I don't know, he won't tell me --- he says it's to spare me more hurt," I laugh, a harsh, grating bark, "but I think it's because he wants to protect her, in case I go psycho and harass her."

"Are you going to go psycho?" Myra's eyes gleam as she stirs her tea vigorously. "Rope me in. I'd go pyscho with you, kick his cheating arse, rip that lying hide to shreds," she stabs the air with her teaspoon, snarls. Myra's had my back since we were in kindergarten. We went to the same schools and uni. We have been best friends for twenty years. She was my chief bridesmaid at my wedding.

"No," I say tiredly. "I don't want him. She's welcome to him."

"A lot of women would fight for their men. And a lot of men go back to their wives after their flings fizzle out." She gives me a considering look. I growl, a feral sound, deep in my throat, and she looks alarmed. "Woah. Don't kill me. Just saying."

"Not me." I look down at my hand, the glint of the gold ring catching the sunlight shafting in through the window of the cafe. "Colin is having an affair with another woman. He tells me he's in love with another woman who's not me. Me, his wife. The woman he promised to love forever. The woman he's supposed to entrust his body solely to. He's betrayed me. He took vows. Sacred vows in the eyes of God and Man. He broke them. Broke my trust. He promised me forever, but he lied and he cheated. He slept with another woman who's not me. He let another woman touch his body. He was inside another woman." The bile rises to my throat, and I have to swallow it down. "I keep seeing him inside her. Doing things to her. Things he did with me." I breathe. Breathe again. "I'll never forgive him. Never. Never. Never. I'd rather die than take him back. As far as I'm concerned, my marriage is over. Colin and me are done."

"So, divorce?"

I twirl the ring on my finger.

"I guess."

"Did he bring it up?"

"He didn't have a chance to --- I stormed out before he could."

"Did he call you?"

"Non-stop. Left a bunch of messages and voicemails, too. I switched off my phone."

"Do your parents know?"

"I suppose. My mum has been calling me."

"You should text your mum," Myra says gently. "She must be worried sick about you."

It's been an hour since I fled from my house. An hour since my orderly, peaceful life detonated.

What do I do now? Where do I go from here? Where am I going to stay?