She's Alex

Chapter 3

Weeks were passing quick ever since I started my job and my routine was repetitive everyday. Each day was series of being in work all day and rushing to see the therapist, Ada chose. She's a middle aged lady who always keeps her hair in an Afro and I'm not complaining. It so beautiful and long ,almost made me also want to grow out mine.
Every time I enter her office the smell of happiness and toffee takes over my lungs and I feel a bit at peace.
" Oh you're here early today" Mel's secretary says.
"You may take a seat while you wait for her other client to finish."
I take my seat and quietly go through the magazines on the table.

I entered Mel's office and went straight to my beanbag chair which was feet away from her desk.
"Hey , how are you doing today" she says pouring a cup of coffee and handing it over to me.
I nod yes
She goes back to her seat and stares intently at me. That's how our sessions mostly are , she asks questions and I nod yes or no. Expressing emotions is something I'm not good at and never bothered to try. Some how she never stops asking , as if one day I'll break down and share my whole life story. I nod so that she doesn't hate me. Her office makes me feel safe.
" Ada told me you have been planning to move out, is that true?"
I nod
"Well that's great, how has that been going?"
Silence.
I was happy about moving out but now a realization hit me. If I'm alone ,what if I do this to myself again? What if I end up being in an endless loop of climbing up and dragging myself down again? My life didn't seem to want me improving on anything.
Mel takes a sip of her coffee and I do the same. I sometimes wish I could have her life. She has perfect hair, her nails are manicured, she sits in a big office on a big desk that has her name sitting on it. Melrose Jbea.
"Are you scared of moving out?" She asks
Silence. I stay facing the floor.
She sighs."Well how will you know if it's bad if you haven't tried it" she leans closer.
She doesn't say much after that ,and I'm trying to understand why Ada told her this. Is he finally tired of me living with them? I guess so.

The next afternoon when I get to work I see an new face by the dishwasher and next to her was the manager showing her the station. She turned to me and swiftly says I'll be sharing my shifts with the new worker and walked back to her office. The new girl looked older, tired lines were already taking over her face and dark circles dangling from under her eyes .The top she was wearing was quite tight showing her tattoo on her left shoulder. Absorbing in her appearance would give the impression that she's quite obnoxious but her voice says the complete opposite. It soft and sweet like- a marshmallow.
"Hey, my name is Ava" she says sticking out her hand
"Hey I'm Alex" I take the handshake.
She continues explaining that she would be taking the night shifts from 6-8 and I nod.
The rest of the day passes by quick. Customers come in huge clumps for one minute, then barely any come in for the other. During the 5pm break Carol passes me another T-shirt. She keeps on giving me her daughters clothes even after I explained to her why I can't wear them.
"You have to show them out to the world, well it's not your fault" that's what she always says. If only it were that easy. 
Ava showed up right after my break and that meant it was my cue to leave. Not being used to going out in the afternoon ,I kind of had nothing else to do. I just went up and down streets till a sign for an arts and supplies shop caught my eye. It had everything ranging from drawing, painting  and writing supplies. Considering I had an empty afternoon it would be great to have something to do.

I climbed on my bed eager to use the supplies I had just bought. I got a banded book with blank lined pages and an art book with blank pages along with pencils. Eager to draw something I placed the book on my lap. I stared at the page for half a minute thinking of what to draw. Nothing in my life has ever interested me enough to want to put it out on paper. I stared at my other book, what was I ever going to put in there.
I collapsed on my bed and let my thoughts drift me to sleep.