So Into You

Chapter 51

I spent the whole night crying inside my room. The scene flashed in my mind for so many times that it kept me awake the whole night I was trying to sing myself to sleep.

Sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko. Mas matatanggap ko siguro kung harap harapan niyang sinabi sa'kin na hindi na niya ako mahao kaysa naman humalik siya ng ibang babae habang nandito pa ako. Yes, cool off kami, hindi kami okay but we were getting there! Magkikita pa kami and he proved to me that he's just one of those men who'll chose to pick a greater woman than me.

I know he loved me ramdam ko 'yon and the thought of him falling out of love pained me. Maybe he was slowly falling out and fell for Chelsea while on the process of slipping away from me.

She's better than me in any aspects and wala akong laban sakanya.

"Tangina..." I clenched my shirt and cried. Nasa kandungan ko ang gitara matapos na tumugtog para maibsan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko.

"Mahal daw ako," I chuckled. "... Gago ang sakit."

I couldn't come to anyone when I needed someone because everyone was carrying their own problems. Si Zara ay prinoproblema ang pag-aaral niya because she failed a subject, Geor is managing the café with his sister and Vanessa is still dealing with their break up.

Hindi ko kayang dumagdag pa sa isipin nila so I just strummed my guitar.

Hindi ako nakapasok ng ilang araw dahil sa nangyari. Kinakatok ako sa kwarto pero sabi ko ay masama ang pakiramdam ko. Buti nalang tapos na ang mga requirements at kahit umabsent ako ay wala namang malaking mawawala sa'kin.

Or maybe I'm just scared to see the truth in the flesh. Baka natatakot akong makita siya na may kasamang iba because surely I will breakdown.

Ako:

Gian, let's meet.

Tomorrow is his graduation and I don't think I'll be able to attend. This time ako naman ang babali ng pangako ko since there was no reason to hold on to my promises anymore.

Gian:

Okay

I texted him when and where we will meet. Inipon ko ang lahat ng lakas na mayroon ako para sa araw na 'yon. Gusto ko lang marinig ang explanation niya kahit isang beses lang... Baka nalasing lang talaga siya at may dahilan siya at tatanggapin ko naman.

Palubog na ang araw nang makarating ako sa dati naming School. I told him to meet me under the treee where I confessed first with my guitar. Nanghihina ang mga paa ko habang papalapit sakanya na nakatayo na sa ilalim ng malaking puno at naghihintay.

I breathed heavily and slowly walked towards Gian. Sigurado akong mugto ang mga mata ko dahil sa kakaiyak pero wala naman akong ibang magagawa kundi ang harapin siya ng ganito.

"Alexine..." He called me. Nanlamig ako sa lamig ng kanyang boses. I miss how he calls me 'love'.

"H-Hi," My voice broke.

Walang nagsalita sa'ming dalawa. Silence filled the place. Susulitin ko muna na nasa harapan ko siya pero kapag napapatingin ako sa mukha niya ay naalala ko kung paano niya tugunin ang halik ni Chelsea sakanya.

My heart broke into pieces as the scene flashed into my mind again. Sirang sira na ako pero heto handa akong makinig sakanya. I must be going crazy over this man.