scoring you ~ matisse thybulle

chapter 2

Lauren's POV:

As the night continued I tried to stay unbothered and keep my composure. Thank God for the bar because I was downing drinks left and right, courtesy of Peter's tab. I was on the road to being pretty wasted and class tomorrow morning was the last thing on my mind.

"Can someone come to the bar with me for some shots?" I begged my friends over the music. Usually, I would go by myself but there was no way I was running into Caleb on my own. 

"I'll go, come on" Alyssa responded leading the way, leaving Brandon and Demitri behind. 

"How are you feeling?" she asked me as we got in the ridiculously long line.

"I'm good, don't worry" I replied adjusting my jeans. "I just have no clue what I would say to him if I saw him" I laughed glancing at my phone.

"Excuse me, excuse me" I hear Jordan mumble as she made her way towards us.

"So nice of you to join us Jordan," Alyssa teased. 

"I thought it was time to come back to my girls," she said wrapping her arms around our shoulders "Oh and Calebs here" she added in a hushed tone.

"Yes, we know" I sighed moving up in the line. "Tequila shots?" I quickly suggested trying to change the subject. If I don't see him tonight, great. But if I do, I'll be glad I got it over with.

I met Caleb freshmen year and we began dating our sophomore year. Aside from my cheating high school boyfriend, I would say that Caleb was my first real love and 'relationship'. At the start it was so new and exciting, all I ever wanted. As the weeks went by I thought we were on the same page about getting more serious and becoming official. That's when he started to change and things became confusing. I didn't understand what the problem was. He was treating me so well and we were basically boyfriend and girlfriend. Between cheering him on at his football games, the cute dates, and late nights, I was falling in love with him; and I thought he was too. I was feeling so loved, but as the months went by he turned cold. I was so hopeful for a future that wasn't there and had questions that he couldn't even begin to give answers to. It took a toll on me and I began to question my worth, but it wasn't enough to make me end things. He 'loved' me so that had to be enough.

I had convinced myself that I was the problem and fell back into bad habits. It didn't take long for Caleb and my friends to notice that I was eating less and working out more. Everyone knew how badly I was hurting, especially Caleb. I wish I knew what was going through his head during this time because things were finally getting back to how they were originally. To my surprise, he actually came around and asked me to be his girlfriend Junior year. I had waited so long for this moment yet it took everything in me to say no. As much as I wanted to believe that things would be different if I said yes, I knew deep down that he wasn't going to change. It didn't matter how much I loved him or he loved me, it was never going to work. 

"Can we please have three tequila shots?" Alyssa asked the bartender. "You can put it under the tab for Peter Madden"

"So are you gonna go say hi to him?" Jordan asked as we waited for the women to pour out our shots.

"I mean I'm not gonna go out of my way to talk to him, but I won't ignore him if he approaches me. We'll see" I said reaching into my bag for some singles to tip with. 

"Here you go girls," the bartender said sliding our shots to our side of the counter.

"Thanks," I said putting the singles in the tip jar.

"Cheers to Pete!" Alyssa giggled as we clinked our glasses and downed our shots.

"Now please come with me to the bathroom, I've been holding it in," I said walking in the direction of the bathroom.

"I would've gone with you earlier Laur" Alyssa replied as we made our way through the groups of drunken college students.

"I know, you were just having such a good time with Brandon. Plus it was so early in the night, I didn't wanna break the seal" I joked as we walked into the almost empty bathroom.

"So do you know if he's seeing anyone? Have you heard from him at all?" I heard Jordan ask from outside the stall.

"He was all over insta with his boys this summer" Alyssa added.

"I have no idea. I removed his number from my phone and I think I still have him muted on Instagram. I couldn't bear to see his face once things were done for good." I said reflecting on how hurt I was. 

Losing Caleb completely destroyed me. We were together so long that it felt like I couldn't function without him. I quickly missed the intimate moments we shared and just the feeling of being wanted. Alyssa and Jordan were the ones who picked up the pieces and were there through all of the tears. They helped me get back on my feet and set me on a path to some kind of normalcy. Junior year ended and I was still hurting. Summer came, and the loneliness sunk in. It was only a matter of weeks until the text messages from Caleb came, and we found ourselves making the hour and a half commute to and from our houses. We both knew it wasn't right but we couldn't shake our physical attachment to each other. I thought it was no big deal, everyone sleeps with their ex after the breakup.

Everything was fine until it wasn't. July was coming to an end and we were still seeing each other. Suddenly it felt as though all of the time I had spent trying to heal and move on was for nothing. It led to a huge mental breakdown for both of us and we had one final night together at his house in New Jersey. We spent that night crying in bed for hours, reminiscing on our greatest moments, and fantasized about what could have been if things had worked out. It was sad to have all of those feelings come back, but it needed to be done so we could both move on for good. The next morning, he drove me home and I kissed him goodbye one last time.

"Ready?" I asked the girls drying my hands.

"Let's go" Jordan responded taking one last look at herself in the mirror.

Alyssa led the way and we followed her out of the bathroom. 

"Let's do another round of shots," I suggested. 

"Someone's clearly feeling herself tonight," Jordan laughed as we turned the corner.

"Wait, wait," Alyssa said immediately turning around to face us. "Caleb is literally talking to Brandon and them right now," she continued looking at me. 

 I quickly looked over, making sure he didn't see me. "Okay, I guess I'm doing this"

"He must really wanna talk to you Laur," Jordan added in. She was right, why else would he be here talking to my friends. 

I didn't see or hear from Caleb for the rest of the summer. It was hard at first but between going to therapy and spending time with friends and family, I knew I was going to be okay. I spent a lot of time focusing on myself and what I wanted for my future after graduation. I fixed up my resume and applied to a fair amount of internships. Each day is easier than the last, but I'm in no way ready for a relationship, let alone prepared for speaking to my ex on the first day back of senior year.

"If you want I can call the uber right now, and we can wait in the bathroom" Alyssa offered with a concerned look on her face.

"No" I said without hesitation. "Let's go, how bad can it be?"