Lose (Jenlisa) - Sequel

So I'm goin'... I'm gonna let you go

'I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since our trainee days.' Lisa said. Looking straight into Jennie's surprised eyes.

'Lis-'

'No unnie, let me finish, because I have been preparing myself for this moment for years.'

Jennie nodded in understanding, a look so unfathomable in her eyes.

'I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Your laugh, your gummy smile, your temperamental self, your sweet side, your savageness... I'm in love with every aspect of your being, Jennie Kim.'  Lisa confessed, word vomiting, in front of the love of her life. She wasn't sure how years and years of pent-up emotions can be released in just a couple of seconds.

Jennie continued to look at her, knowing that Lisa still have a lot of things to say. She gave Lisa a little nod, encouraging her to go on with her speech.

Lisa took Jennie's hand across the table and clasp it in her own hands.

'Unnie, I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable with this but just give me a few minutes to say what I need to say.'

Jennie looked at their hands and looked at Lisa again. She let out a quiet sigh and gave Lisa a small smile.

'I know you love Jisoo unnie, and I know that there's nothing in this world that will change that, especially now that you have Ella. At first, I thought I could snatch you away from Jisoo unnie,' Lisa chuckled, but there's no humour to it, 'but seeing how happy you are, I know that I can't take that happiness away from you. I shouldn't.' Lisa gave Jennie a bittersweet smile.

'I'm not a home wrecker, unnie. And your happiness, as well as Jisoo's and Ella's, are more important than my feelings for you. That's why I'm saying this now. But unnie, before I leave, can I ask you something?' Lisa asked, gently letting Jennie's hand go.

Gently letting her feelings go.

Gently accepting the fact that her heart will be hurting after this conversation, and she doesn't know how long it will take for her heart to heal... Or if it will heal at all.

Gently opening herself to the thought that she may never love anyone more than she loves Jennie.

'What is it, Lis?' Jennie asked, looking at Lisa with a mixture of sadness and admiration. Sadness because she knows how Lisa feels towards her. Admiration because Lisa chose the right thing; because Lisa is strong; and because she knows that Lisa will find someone she will love more than she loves Jennie.

And Jennie is sure of it.

If Lisa loves her this much, and she is the wrong person to love, Jennie can only imagine how much Lisa will feel towards her right person.

And Jennie knows that she and her wife will make sure that their maknae will have her happy ending too.

'During our BLACKPINK days, there were times where I feel confused with the way you act towards me. I'm not saying that you love me the way you love Jisoo unnie, I just thought, you know...' Lisa dragged on, not knowing how to finish her question.

'Oh, Lis.' Jennie's heart feels heavy for their maknae, she doesn't know how to break it to her in a way that would lessen the hurt.

'I never meant for you to take my actions that way. I was just being a big sister to you and Chae. I'm sorry if it felt like that at that time, I never thought that my actions would lead you on. I'm really sorry, Lis, but it has always been Jisoo for me.'

Lisa saw how difficult it is for Jennie to be saying these to her, the older girl has unshed tears in her eyes. Lisa knows that Jennie doesn't want to hurt her.

But Lisa needs to know.

This is the closure that she needs.

It may hurt to hear everything, but she also knows that pain demands to be felt.

'You remember that time where Jisoo and I went to Jeju with her family when we were still trainees?' Jennie asked her, her voice low and soft

Lisa nods, a sad smile grazing her lips. She already know what's coming next.

'That's when I knew, Lis. That's when I knew that Jisoo will be the only one I'll love for the rest of my life.' Jennie smiled, a sad one too, because she knows that what she just said is the final blow to Lisa's heart, but she needs to say it too.

'When I got to know you and Chaeng, I feel like I got to have the siblings I never have, that's why I was so affectionate to the both of you. With Jisoo, it's different. I can never see her as a sister because all I think about is how to kiss her without Yang finding out.' Jennie chuckled, remembering her awkward 16-years old self.

Lisa chuckled at that too. Yang was very strict about their dating ban and he was literally everywhere before, trying to spy on the girls and see if they have broken the rules.

Jennie gave Lisa a gentle smile and this time, she's the one who held Lisa's warm hands.

'I'm truly sorry, Lis. I should have been clearer with my actions and intentions back then. I know you have feelings for me, but I did not expect it to run deeper than just a crush. I'm sorry if I cannot return the kind of love you have for me, but know that I will always love you. You and Chaeyoung will always have a special place in my heart. I will always have that special kind of love for the both of you. I hope that you find someone you will love for the rest of your life and have something like Jisoo and I have now. Your heart is the purest I have known and I know that it will fall in the hands of someone who truly deserves it.' Jennie gave Lisa a soft smile as she looks directly into the sad pair of beautiful eyes.

' Unnie... ' Lisa said, trying to stop her tears from falling but failed.

'What do I do now?' She looks lost. She feels lost.

'Oh, Lisa.' Jennie sighed, getting up her seat and went to sit beside Lisa. 'Come here, it will be okay. I promise you, it will be okay.'

After a few minutes of consoling Lisa, she finally stopped crying.

'Ughh, I'm sorry Unnie. Geez, that was embarrassing. Please don't tell Jisoo I cried. She's never gonna stop teasing me.'

Jennie knows this is how Lisa cope, so she just gave her a smile.

'I guess I'll have to go back to travel photography now. I have a broken heart to mend and the best way to heal is to jump from one country to another.' Lisa chuckled, genuinely this time.

'Don't forget to call us when you're ready to talk to us again, okay? We'll be rooting for you, Lis.'

'Of course, Unnie. Do you think I'll want to stop annoying the hell out of your wife?' Lisa said, feeling a bit lighter that she did a few minutes ago.

'And Ella needs at least one cool Aunt.'

'Oh god... No.' Jennie laughed. Imagining how Ella would turn out if she grow up under Lisa and Jisoo's constant bickering.

'Do you want to have dinner with us this weekend?'

'Oh, I'm leaving tonight, Unnie. I guess Jisoo unnie will have to wait for our chicken time. I have an important last minute shoot for Vogue tomorrow. They called me just this morning.'

'Ohhh.' Jennie nodded, a thought just slipped out of her mind as she look at Lisa.

'Someday, then. When you're ready.' Jennie smiled, understanding that Lisa needs to distance herself to heal.

And it's okay, because she believes that Lisa will be okay...

eventually...

*The End