THE MAN I THOUGHT HE WAS

A NIGHT AWAY

After obim returned from his travels, he invited me for a night club which I accepted. But there was a problem. How do I convince auntie I.J and her husband to release me for a night?  I thought of many possible ways to have my way. So sad, I was an amateur in the game. 

"Must you make known of every movement you take to your auntie of every movement you take? You are no longer a kid." Kept lingering in my thoughts. Those were Mike's words to me the day he made me follow him to his house. That day, in an open eatery.

It was Friday already, and I never wanted to let him down because I had already accepted to club with him. Clubbing for the first time in my entire life. Plus, I hated disappointments. Not to someone I loved so dearly. Not to obim. Lying on the bed and thinking of the best lie to tell, I checked my phone and it was 4:53 PM. Ahh, it's getting late and I'm yet to take permission from auntie I.J. quickly, I slipped out of the bed and made my way to the parlor where auntie I.J was.

"Auntie o, Tare asked me to join them tonight in the preparation of her sister's igba nkwu tomorrow." I said to my auntie who was carrying a tray of beans ready to pick stones from them.

"Aaahaa." Auntie I.J straightened a surprise look at me. The look that made me feel she already knew I was lying.

"This sudden igba nkwu that just came up. Is that how their people do their own igban nkwu?" She continued, allowing her eyes access mine as if there lied the answers to her questions.

It dawned on me that I might get caught. The last time she looked into my eyes that way, I vomited the truth on what I did with the missing meat in the pot of soup. That day wasn't funny at all. I never knew auntie I.J normally counted the meats she used in cooking until the day I served myself two pieces of meat instead of one piece which every adult in the house was served. The kids shared one. 

I mentally scolded myself for going by that strategy of lie. I would have used some other strategic lie. But, it is what it is. So I forced myself to go by, and maintain the lie having voiced that out already. I had to cover up with more lies.

"You know all these riverine area people, they don't do things like we the Igbos. Their cultures are most times turned upside down. Could you imagine that the young man coming for the lady's hand in marriage was even saying that if the lady's family should delay in giving out their daughter to him that he will change his mind?" Rolling and shinning my eyeballs simultaneously, like a lost she goat I vehemently said. How that big unbelievable lie entered my mouth, I never knew. All I needed was to make sure I got auntie I.J convinced. But the young woman refused to unhook her eyes from mine.

"Don't you know you should have pre-informed me on time concerning this arrangement gbor?" she asked bringing out her two palms widely spread.

"What will I tell my husband when he comes back and ask of you? That you went for an emergency igba nkwu preparation okwa ya?" She asked with much curiosity this time, looking into my shinning eyes with an expectation to get answers to her questions which were all rhetorical to me.

"And besides, this your Tare friend, I thought you told me she's the only child of her parents? Now she has a sister, how come?" She furthered her questions, opening her eyes wider this time.

"Ewoo. You don fuck up. This woman don catch you." That very tiny voice that normally whispered to me from nowhere did it again. It was then I realized I had told auntie I.J that Tare was the only child of her parents.

"Eeeehm... Her father's wife, yes, her father's wife..... You know I did not tell you her father married two wives. He divorced his first wife before he married Tare's mother. So eeh.... that first wife had two children, a boy and a girl. She went away with the boy while the daughter remained with the dad." I said sharply. My voice was so strong this time. I never knew I was a talented liar until that day. With my eye balls still rolling up and down, I pushed further.

"The news came late to me as well o auntie. But she once told me about her sister getting married soon. I never knew it would be this sudden." My mouth finally slammed shut.

There was a little stretch of silence in the room. Auntie I.J finally unhooked her eyes from me. She remained mute and continued with her tray of beans. Joy gripped my heart. I had convinced her at last. I thought. I waited patiently for her to pick out all the stones from the beans because, it seemed her replied would come after picking those stones.

"Bia nwanyi, you are not going anywhere o. Mba o, not this night ina-anu? This town is not safe for night walks especially by young girls like you."  Without looking at me, she finally broke the silence.

"But auntie," I checked my phone.

"This is 5:02pm na, I can leave earlier." I said using the calmest voice of mine.

"Go and get me a bowl my friend, you are not going anywhere!" She ordered and continued without a pause. "If you like reduce your voice to the zero volume, you go nowhere. Tell that you friend that I said you are not leaving this house this night. Tomorrow you can attend whatever thing they are doing. The day of your own igba nkwu, she and her sister should also stay in their house; they should not come. Where is the bowl biko!" Her tone wasn't friendly at all. I gave her a look of pity as I went to get the bowl.

"If you like keep your face like ewu akpu aga afor market (goat that is being taken to the market), my no remains no. Amaka, I say a capital NO. It's not me that will come and start giving long explanations to my sister. Mba o." She said, making funny gestures that would have cracked me up on a normal day.

"She thinks it's funny. My lies failed". I murmured as I entered the kitchen for the bowl.

"Isi gini?"

"Mba o. I wasn't talking to you."

"Better. Be fast with the bowl please."

I did not hesitate to inform obim about the change of plan and promised to make it up to him the next day. The following day, the supposed igba nkwu day of Tare's sister encrypted in my lies to auntie I.J, the sister she wished she had, I left the house very early and headed straight to obim's house. He felt very bad for the disappointment but I sorted things out with him. My whole day was spent in his mighty edifice watching romantic movies and lightening up our mood with slight and soft romance. I had achieved all I wanted in life. I felt.

When it was 6:00pm, time to return home from the igba nkwu, obim restricted me from going and insisted I spend the night with him in order to prove of my love for him.

Eh! How do I do this now?