Tie. Tie. Tie

Chapter 10

January 1, 2021

"Happy New Year!" Everyone screams and shouts as the clock reaches zero. My friends shout and scream as we all chug our ginger ale. Some of us are still under eighteen so we can't drink yet. Quinn and two other girls don't drink so we won't feel left out. My parents pull apart from their kiss, smiling at each other. Issac stands in the corner with some guys, drinking champagne. We're all gathered in Quinn's living room, celebrating the new year.

I've been to Quinn's house before but it always manages to surprise me by its size. Her living room alone is gigantic and somehow there's still not enough room to fit everyone. Quinn's parents are wealthy and well-known in our town. Even some of the neighbouring towns know her parents.

"Look at us, ladies," Zoey smiles. "Survived middle school without acne!"

"And now we're all in high school!" Quinn cheers. "To high school!" We all raise our glasses in the middle and chug the rest of our drinks. But they don't know that I didn't drink for all of us being in high school. No, I drank for my revenge.

Middle school hadn't been easy after that day. Sure my friend circle grew, I got prettier but I was still mentally not ready. Reading different books and cherishing the small things in life. I worked hard to get the body I have today. The skin that glows in the darkness. I studied harder than I ever had before. Getting the highest grades in the school and extending my social circle by joining sports.

My schedule hasn't ever been more hectic. Waking up at 5am to exercise before school and following a diet—even at school. I would make sure I always looked ready for a photoshoot. I would always go above and beyond on projects and give higher-level answers on all my tests. I wanted to show Issac that he hadn't destroyed me.

My mom had questioned my sudden change, but she would walk away mumbling something about teenagers and their hormones when I refused to answer. My friends first teased me that it was for a boy but soon realized it was for myself. I needed something to do to keep myself busy. So I wouldn't think about it.

In the beginning, my only motivation was to keep the flashbacks out of my mind. I was scared that I was doing all this for nothing. Guys can hurt you and when you bring yourself back up, they shake it off. They say they don't care or don't pay attention. And why would they? They did what they wanted to. But then when people started to notice my changes, I kept going. I'm still scared, but it's not the same thing. I'm scared that I will push myself too hard.

But the thing I keep repeating to myself is, 'go big or go home.'

People see my results, but not the moments when I was dying on my bedroom floor trying to do a three-minute plank. The time when I couldn't run 5 km without stopping. Not only have I been working on myself, but I've been helping at an orphanage. Helping little kids who've been struggling and wanting peace.

I'd probably never have made myself like this if Issac hadn't ruined my mental state.