Tie. Tie. Tie

Chapter 12

April 1, 2021

The whispers in my head were loud enough to make me think someone else was talking. But I knew better, I was the only one home as everyone else was at the airport to say goodbye to Issac. He was finally leaving for college, well that is until Thanksgiving. I wouldn't have too much to be thankful for if I stayed here.

I zipped my backpack and shoved it into the back of my closet, filling the empty room with some noise. I sigh as I stand up, stretching my legs from sitting too long. My right leg had fallen asleep from sitting so long so I shook it, but that didn't help.

I hop over to one of the walls and hold it for support with one hand before kicking my leg into it. The sound probably echoes throughout the house. It's weird how I felt so nervous about sneaking around with no one home, like my mom will show up outside my bedroom door and see me packing my clothes. But I now know that no one will come when I'm screaming for even a mouse to hear.

Once my leg wakes up, I limp to my night table. There lay the checklist for my birthday. The only difference there was that this listed the ssentials, rather than my birthday wishes. The last time I cared what I got for my birthday was back in middle school. After that, I learnt to cherish the things in my life, because I know that one day, they can be taken away and never seen again.

My phone starts buzzing and Quinn's name pops up on the screen. I pick up the phone and answer the call. Quinn's voice comes through the speaker trying to get my attention but her voice seems faint as I read each item on the list—making sure nothing remains behind.

"Hello? Timberly? Are you there?" she asks.

"Yes, Quinn," I sigh. "Just making sure I got everything." She hums on the line and I can feel her overthinking. "Don't think Quinn, just do."

"That doesn't even make any sense," she huffs and I can practically see her pouting with her eyes slightly narrowed. "Anyway, are you sure you want this?"

"Of course, I wouldn't have asked you if I wasn't 101% sure," I say, trying to make my voice sound light so she thinks I'm smiling.

"Would you have told me if you hadn't wanted this from me, Tim Tim? She asks so quietly, that I nearly missed it. Of course, I knew the answer to this question but it never crossed my mind that she would ask it. Not that I blame her, I would've asked her if our positions were switched.

"Quinn, I—," she cuts me off

"Please don't lie, Tim Tim," she begged, her voice breaking at the end. "I promise I won't be mad." I knew she wouldn't be mad. I also knew that she wouldn't be mad at me because of my situation. She would understand the fact that I didn't want to talk about it.

"One day, Quinn," I sigh. "One day I would feel myself and come up empty. The hollowness inside me would scream at me, reminding me how I didn't tell my best friend." I push my back up against the wall and slide down. "One day I would pick up the phone and call you, not knowing what to say. I would hear your voice and choke back a sob, not wanting to upset you. I would tell you that I'm coming over and hang up. I would get to your house with the only proof I had and show it to you. You would give me a confused look before reading my eyes and holding me tight. Your arms would pour warmth into my heart and give me hope.

"Each warm breath you exhale near my ear would carry a word of hope. Each stroke of my hair would soothe away the negative thoughts. Your tears would represent my pain and maybe that would calm me down. Knowing you believe me."

"Do you wish that you could go back and make all that happen?" she asked.

"I don't want to do anything any more that makes me say, maybe. I'll do it without hesitation if it gives me a clear vision. I'd be lying if I said that I don't imagine how life would be if I didn't ask you, and just told you. But trust me when I say, that day wouldn't have come until my mind went to hell and back bringing the torture with him so my body feels like it's on fire. Then the fire would settle, coming out of my fingers until I felt nothing."

"I'm glad you told me," she whispered, lost for words.

"Me too, Quinn," I whisper back. "Me too."

"Ready?" she asks, ruffling sounds happen in the back but I ignore them.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I sigh. "Seventeen is gonna hit hard." I cut the call and stood up.

I would've followed through with my plan before Issac left, like the day after his birthday or mid-February. But in reality, I wasn't so sure about what I was doing, all I knew was that whatever it was, would not be bad for me. I couldn't have signed a paper or bet on it, but my future was in front of me, even if it was closer to the horizon. It was still there, and that's all I needed. For once, something to be clear. And not a prank where you keep watching your back to make sure that no one pranks you.

I am not going to watch my back anymore. Everyone who knows me now, will look at the screen one day in the near future and say, she wasn't joking around. To all the fools who thought that they could fool me, Happy Anti-April Fool's Day.