Journal Entry One: 1934
I'm tired. Physically and mentally. I can't keep doing this anymore. Every day it's the same thing. Day in and day out. I see him and instantly the petals fill my throat and I just....I can't take it. Knowing that the one I love is in love with another, and that I'll always be second rate to him. I hate that I can't be normal, that I can't (literally) just swallow my emotions like everyone else can. It's so hard when I ALWAYS see her...
It's a virtuous cycle...and it'll never end.
Journal entry 2: 1934
It's getting worse, and I can't stop it...I'm no longer just throwing up petals, but now thorns as well. It fucking hurts. And he doesn't even know he's the cause. He always tries to comfort me, but he only makes it worse. I can't seem to even stop for a good minute sometimes...and Salieri's starting to notice. He's getting worried. But he doesn't know what's going on...he never will.
Journal entry 3: 1934
I actually went and talked to a shrink today...I had to get it off my chest to somebody. But, at this point, just mentioning his name makes me cough up a petal or two. Mentioning her name just pisses me off. The shrink said I should try writing a letter, but keep it anonymous. I might take his advice, I might not. Who knows.
Letter to Him:
Dear S— T———
Look, I've never been good at writing these, and I know you already have someone, but...I like you. I have since we were children, living in ———. I miss the connection we once had, and I just wish you could see... I love you. But I guess sometimes it's hard to notice these "small" things. It's not your fault, I promise. Why don't we talk this out over some coffee?
Sincerely, A secret Admirer
P.s. Meet up at Pepe's
Journal entry 4: 1934: Christmas eve...
He showed up! He actually met with me at Pepe's over some coffee. It felt good to talk to him...but he saw my petals and thorns...I even coughed up a whole ass rose...and he saw it. Damn, I felt so embarrassed, but he understood.... he said he had made a mistake in liking her... Michelle. It turns out, she cheated on him and was only using him. Damn, that's harsh...but he said to give him a bit before we made any decisions on anything. And I agreed.
Journal entry ???? 1951
Damn....it's been so long since I wrote in this thing, let me update you on a few things. Sam and I got married...we even had a kid. Her name is Darla. We moved away from Lost Heaven, but we still help Don Salieri. I still cough up roses, and this curse is slowly killing me, but I pay no mind to it. Um....what else?? Ah! Paulie and Tommy got married as well and had a little girl named Marie. She and Darla get along so nicely. Man...life turned out good in the end.
End of Entries.
Third person POV, 1952
Sam picked up the old leather journal from his desk and blows the dust off of it, coughing before opening it. As he slowly read the pages, he teared up. "She had always loved me...why was I so blinded..." he mutters softly as he continued to read the journal. He looks at the last page and smiles a little, sighing softly. "Man....life really did end good for you....Maddie Dawson...I hope you're enjoying the afterlife...you were taken way too soon." He mutters as he sees his little girl, who is now a teenager, walk into the room. "Are you alright, Dad?" She asks as she walks over, and he nods. "Of course I am. Just missing your mother is all." He says softly and she nods, gently hugging him. "Yeah. I miss her too."
A/N
....I dunno what I was thinking, I hate this shit, I was just writing off the top of my head
