Crack Story About You Meeting A Fluffy, Hairy Snail

sckcool

It's just another day of getting three E's at school. But are glad it wasn't three F's. The last time you brought an F home, your mom made you eat hawaiian pizza. That still left you traumatized.

All that aside, your life is pretty boring. You watch anime all day, and if you don't watch anime, you sleep, and if you don't sleep, you eat. It's a cycle your parents call "unhealthy" and "antisocial" smh. They should just be thankful you're not doing drugs.
To sum up, your life is ideal for an introverted ass like you. You wouldn't mind doing this for the rest of your life and you've been pretty sure it would never change before that day, something happened.

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*blrlllrlrlrpllrprlrp* (flashback)

You were on your way home after school. The teacher for once didn't make the class write a test for four hours straight because they got hit by a school bus on their way.

Since the teacher didn't show up they let you go. Well, actually they didn't exactly let you go. A substitute teacher DID show up but they tripped and fell out of the window so everyone left.

Dancing on the sidewalk and looking forward to not having to eat dust at home, you got closer and closer.
At some point, you had almost reached the front door when you noticed something. It was shining on the sidewalk just the way a floor shines after you licked it. It was beautiful.

You kneeled down to take a look at it.
"A hair", you said out loud like a maincharacter. It was a golden hair. Yes, just a golden hair. But the more you eyed your surroundings, you quickly noticed that there was even more hair! In fact, a long trail of hair lead to your house's front door. From ... a nearby sewer.

"It's probably just a wet dog that crawled out of a sewer and wanted to visit me", you said. "With a shit ton of hair."

That's what you used to think. Until it kept happening day after day. Everyday you would find that trail and everyday your mom would have to clean up the sidewalk. The hair would freely fly around in the air, on the sidewalk and inside the house.
In the matter of a few days, the trail became thicker and grew higher.
Your house was soon surrounded by an atmosphere made out of hair and barely any oxygen left to breathe. People looked at it and were weirded out but didn't pay much attention.

"That's just what happens when you decide to go bald", everyone thought.

At some point, you stopped breathing.
but that was fine.

*blrlllrlrlrpllrprlrp* (back from standing around looking into the air while having a flashback)
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So that's the current situation of your house.
That's why nobody in school wanted to shake your hand or even wave in your direction. Nobody wanted to move even an inch when they were in your area, because they were afraid the hair that covered you would come off from any sudden movement.
Some weird guy with a big ass beard even launched a spear at you because he thought you were a monké.

"Sorry", he said with an australian accent when you gave him the spear back after pulling it out of your forehead. "That's just what we monster hunters dou", he explained, winked and lit a cigarette, before being escorted out of the school building.

People not wanting to shake your hand? Fine. An australian monster hunter wanting to kill you? Wasn't the first time that happened.
But not breathing was kinda annoying. You just wanted to feel air in your in hair covered lungs again.

With a determined look on your face, you walk the last meters to the staircase of your house and reach for the doorhandle. You know you have to do something. You have to stop this madness right now.
The thought of having to clean annoys you, but what choice do you have? Something caused all of this, and you will put an end to it.

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ppfpfpprdppprpfpprpf

So that was fun -
Um
Now I just wonder who will read the title of this story and actually CLICK on it
anyways I will continue this when I have time.
If you actually read this far -
Um marry me? Like, now?
💍💥💍💥💥💍💍💥💍
cya in the next chapturr ✋😩