lack of petals, an abundance of thorns

addiction

you fill my mind
even when
i crave loneliness

and my hands
obsessively reach for the
phone to talk to you.

what a drag,
you don't even make me glad.

when i see
your notification ping

all i think is
"what am I to do?"

the butterflies
turned out to be
spiders

and you have a lot of nerve

to come here
telling me all your woes,

making me feel like
we aren't done

even after i said
goodbye years ago.

i'm still here though,
your manipulative words
refuse to let me
escape.

and you tell me
"oh honey, it will be okay,
you brighten my days."

it's clear that you'll
never let me go

and I'll keep
people pleasing
while happily
bleeding my soul dry.

how do i cut myself loose
from your mental abuse?

you're so selfish,
making me feel helpless,

feeling like a dog
chained up,
choking.

and no one will
come to the rescue

for your charade
of adoring owner
would put all
oscar winners to shame.

i guess i'm much to blame
for i put my cards into
your game.

and it's now just
me and you

in this roulette for two.

pull the trigger,

darling,

please.