And Then There Was You (Chris Evans AU)

March: One Last Hurrah

Daphne POV

  There's an ache in my chest. A feeling of an eternal abyss threatens to swallow me. I let myself go there, just for a few moments. I cry, I scream and yell. But I won't stay there. I won't let it consume me. I feel my feelings and then move on. It's not always easy but it's helping me process the situation a little more each day.
  The truth is that I still have all of the necessary parts to conceive a child. That hasn't been taken away from me. The last time I spoke with Dr. Kallen at my follow up he said there are other things I can do to help in conceiving. But for now, Chris and I made two big decisions.

  We were on our way to Savannah to meet with the wedding planner. Chris showed up with my favorite coffee so of course I told him the wedding was still on. He got a kick out of that and doubled over in laughter.
  Along the two hour drive we spoke mostly about the wedding and the house.
  Our bridal party is small just two on each side. Chris's brother is the best man with Hayden as a groomsman. Rene is my matron of honor and Hazel my bridesmaid.
  As of right now it looks like we'll be moving into our house mid April, assuming there's no crazy spring storms that pop up.
  "So, I think I've made a decision about the rest of the school year," I tell him. "It's been a battle within myself but I finally feel a peace over it. I want to take the rest of the school year off." Chris looks at me, eyes full of surprise.
"Are you sure, Daphne? That's a pretty big step," he reminds me.
I nod my head. "Yeah. I'm going to speak with the principal tomorrow and let her know I'm going to leave at the end of March. They won't have to hire a new teacher, just get a long term substitute. I'm sure I'll still need to supply plans but maybe Sue could take care of that."
Chris looks over at me again. There's a strange sense of pride radiating off of him. "I think that's a great idea. Give your body time to completely heal and all."
"So if we want to do our full honeymoon in April, we can. Unless you can't work it out at the station."
Chris smiles back at me. "Leave it to me. I'll take care of it," he says with a squeeze of my hand. "There's something I wanted to talk with you about," he tells me.
  "Should I be worried?" I say with a quirk of my brow.
  "I don't think so. Just a discussion, promise," he gives me assurance. I implore him to go on but he genuinely looks nervous.
  "Spit it out, Chris," I say with a chuckle even though his demeanor is starting to concern me.
  He keeps his eyes on the highway ahead of him but casts a glance my way every so often.  "You can totally say no, or maybe you're not ready, but what do you think about maybe stopping your birth control?"
  I'm honestly surprised by this topic of conversation. I figured I'd be on it for the first couple of years of the marriage but of course that was before the massive disappointment my body has given me.
"What would that do as far as the cysts?" I ask him about it because I know that he knows just enough.
"Technically, with the ablasion Dr. Kallen did you shouldn't develop anymore cysts, at least for a bit. It's up to you though, just a thought that's been running through my mind," he reveals.
Chris leaves me to mull around in my thoughts. He's not pressuring me, just offering up a thought. I'm learning this is the best way to decide things within a relationship: rationally and through discussion.
  " I guess a main question would be what if I do manage to get pregnant right away. Would you be okay with that?" I question him further.
  Without a moment of hesitation he responds, "I'd be fine with that. Whenever the time comes will be great. If it's five weeks from now on our honeymoon or five years from now. It doesn't matter to me when. But this is really more of your choice. I mean you could go off and we use condoms if you want. But if you're not ready for the possibility then you can stay on the pill and we use condoms."
I feel deep in my soul that our road to parenthood will not be quick nor easy. The birth control didn't do anything for me considering it was suppose to help with my cycles and it didn't dissolve the cysts as the doctor pointed out.
"Okay," I say. "I'm in, completely. No pills, no condoms. If I get pregnant we celebrate. If I don't," I pause.
"If you don't then we keep trying. And I'm really looking forward to all the practicing," Chris says with a laugh.