play - jenkai

10

Jisoo and I didn't get into fights too often. Since we were kids we always had the same friends which meant we were always around each other. A lot of brothers might be annoyed by having their sisters around all the time but I didn't mind. We were close and we got along well when we weren't arguing. But when we were arguing, it lasted for quite a while because the both of us were too stubborn to talk to the other first.

I didn't call or shoot a text. And the slight annoyed look on her face tells me she doesn't appreciate me showing up on her doorstep without any notice.

"You look like shit."

I ignore the insult. "Miss me?" I ask.

"Not really." She shakes her head. I hear a sound tapping against her hardwood floors and her little white dog comes around the corner. His tail is already wagging once he spots me.

"It seems someone else did." I smile just a little at Dalgom.

"He's a known traitor." Jisoo rolls her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought our little argument took its course and now I'm here because I miss my sister and I can also admit that I was being a jackass."

I wait for her to say something, to accept my half-ass apology but instead she only opens the door wider and walks back into her apartment. I let out a sigh of relief and shut the door behind me.

"How was Baekhyun's party?"

"Baekhyun's party is the reason I caved in and came over actually."

"Oh? It's not because you missed me?" I catch her rolling her eyes as she walks into her kitchen, opening the refrigerator and taking out two bottles of water.

I whisper a small 'thank you' and quickly unscrew the cap on the water bottle, eager for a sip. It's been three days since Baekhyun's party and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking of Jennie's confession. It ran through my mind day and night. And I couldn't help the small bit of guilt that grew inside of me every time I thought of her—I felt like I shouldn't..be thinking of her.

Last night as I stared at the ceiling with Naeun sound asleep next to me and my mind kept drifting to Jennie. It didn't feel right.

"What's wrong?" Jisoo interrupts my train of thought. "You have that look on your face when you're guilty about something."

Sometimes I wondered if she knew me better than I knew myself.

"Jennie...mentioned you guys got into an argument."

"You spoke to Jennie?" She looks a bit surprised. I simply nod and she lets out a low sigh. "Yeah we did. I think I did more of the talking though."

I frown. "I feel like I need to say this again—"

"Jongin, I didn't stop talking to Jennie because she broke up with my brother. Yeah, it fucking sucks and it would've made things awkward for me...but that isn't the reason Jennie and I grew apart."

"She was your best friend." I say.

"If my best friend can disappear on me and start acting like this brand new person that I can't even fucking recognize then I don't have any business speaking to her."

I nod but I could tell just by the look on her face, she hates saying those words out loud. "Did you ever wonder why she broke up with me?"

Jisoo inches her head back just a bit to get a better look at me. "Why are we talking about Jennie?"

"I'm just asking a question."

"Yeah and for the last three years you've pretended that she doesn't exist and now all of a sudden, you are talking about her and asking this question. I mean, does it even matter why she broke up with you?"

I could feel my eyebrow furrow and frown settle on my face. "Don't you think I deserve an explanation?"

"No." Jisoo is quick to answer. "You're engaged to Naeun. Whatever happened between you and Jennie is in the past. Leave it there." She puts some emphasis on the last bit of her words.

I don't say anything to that. I don't think I can. How can I possibly move on from the fact that she broke up with me because she was terrified. Not because she didn't love me or because she fell out of love with me but simply because she was scared.

"I could've gone to the guys about this." I slowly spoke. "Knowing them, they probably would've convinced me to do something that I shouldn't be doing because even after all these years I still think they have it in their heads that Jennie and I are going to be together and Naeun is just an obstacle in the way." It sounded wrong leaving my lips. Hot guilt formed in my throat and images of Naeun's sweet smile appeared in my head.

"Do you think that?" Jisoo asks me.

"You'll tell me the truth." I ignored her question. "I know you'll tell me what's right and what's wrong."

Jisoo only stares at me, seeing me as I am, vulnerable and confused. "Do you think a Naeun is just an obstacle in the way?" She asks me again.

I take in a deep breath. I shake my head because in my fucking soul I know that's not true. I wouldn't have asked Naeun to marry me if I didn't intend to actually do it.

"If you asked me this before Baekhyun's party, I would've answered no without a fucking doubt in my mind."

"Ok." Jisoo nods. No trace of judgement on features. She stays quiet, patient, waiting for me to gather my thoughts. "Why the sudden change then?"

"Before that I always thought she broke my heart because she fell out of love." I said slowly. I know I didn't have to point out who "she" is because there is only one "she" that has broken my heart. "Before that I didn't know she left me because she was terrified. Before that I didn't know she came back for me only to find me kissing another woman."

"You actually believed that?"

My head springs up and I look directly into Jisoo's eyes. "You think she's lying?" I say. Confused.

"No, I don't." She shakes her head. "I'm asking if you actually believed she fell out of love with you."

My head shifts back and I blink slowly trying to understand her question. "I'm sorry? Are we forgetting the three years that have passed by?"

"Why would she tell you this?" Jisoo ignores my question, walking over to her kitchen table to grab her phone.

"I..I didn't exactly give her a choice. I had a few drinks and I might have cornered her into telling me." I admit and Jisoo gives me a disapproving look. "Not one of my best moments but I was tipsy and all of sudden she was sitting there looking the way she-"

"Stop."

"I didn't mean...I didn't mean it like that." I shake my head. "I would never...you know that right?"

"I do." Jisoo softly speaks. "You're confused and that's okay. Anyone would be after finding out that your first great big love somewhat admitted that she didn't mean to fucking break up with you." She sighs, combing her fingers through her dark strands.

"I just needed to talk about it." I say. "I know I haven't done anything but I can't help but feel guilty when I'm laying next to Naeun at night and I'm up thinking about Jennie."

"And that right there is why you have nothing to feel guilty about Jongin." Jisoo tells me, running her hands up and down my arms. "You know it's wrong and you're trying to figure it out. It's okay."

I nod, giving her hands a short squeeze. I glance at the watch on my wrist, reading the time. It's almost six which means Naeun probably just got to the apartment. I run my hand over my face and let out a short breath. "I should get going."

"You sure? I could order us dinner?"

"Nah, it's okay." I decline. "Thank you for listening though."

"Always." She says.

"Glad to be in my sister's good graces again." I softly smile, pressing a quick kiss to the side of her head. "Also about you not giving a shit about me anymore, can you retract that statement?"

"You actually believed that too?" Jisoo teases.

-
Finally? Lol sorry for the wait. Hope you enjoyed Jongin's POV, let me know what you think?

M