Never Thought of Dating Your Nemesis?

Chapter 11

I hate her.

That's what I always told to my self. But when did it all started? Grade school? Middle school? Just lately?

Do I really hate her?

Jaydeen you're in love with her.

Napailing ako nang magecho ang boses ni Gail sa isip ko. No! I can't be. It's too ridiculous.

Love?

Aside from the love I received from my family, I don't have much experience when it comes to romantic kind, I never been a relationship too.

Let's say I'm inexperienced but I'm not naive to not know what love is. I know it's more than about butterflies and warmth. You will know what it is when you started to feel it. No words, no explanations needed. You will just know.

"Wanna watch a movie or something?" she asked. She's wearing her mask again. Iniwas ko ang tingin sa kanya bago binaba ang picture frame.

"Entertain me, I'm your guest" bagot na sagot ko habang patuloy na nililibot ang tingin sa kwarto nya. I heard her chuckling. I can't tell if she genuinely finds it funny.

"Hmm? Should I start dancing?" she mischievously asked. I rolled my eyes which gained another chuckles from her. At least, those little lights on her eyes are flickering again.

My lips parted in amazement while staring at the corner of her room where multiple pictures aesthetically posted in the wall. Photography is really her forte. My fingers run in the films, every shot is captivating. It's so. . . beautiful.

"Do you have plans pursuing photography?" can't help but to ask. Matagal siyang hindi nakasagot kaya lumingon ako sa direksyon nya. She sat down and lowered her head as she whispered.

"I don't know"

She doesn't know? I felt a pang in my chest. It just three words yet it brings unexplainable pain inside. Naghahalo halo ang emosyon ko, I can't name them. It's too chaotic inside of me.

"Let me rephrase my question. Do you want to pursue photography?" mahinang tanong ko. She raise her head, meeting my gaze. I can feel my heart knocking so hard inside my chest. Nakakabaliw ang bawat pintig nito. A certain emotion flashed in her eyes, ngunit bago ko pa iyon mapangalanan ay nagawa na niya itong itago.

"Does it matter?"

Her question surprised me. Muli niyang binaba ang tingin, she realizes that her emotions are showing. She's trying to hide it, as usual. But it's too late, I already saw it.

Her pain and sadness.

"Of course, it does" mahinang sambit ko at humakbang palapit sa kanya. She's the pleasing type of person. She'll do anything you ask her nang walang hinihiling na kapalit. You'll never hear a single complain from her. It's pitiful at some times.

"Why can't you. . . just be you?" I cursed inwardly when the question in my head slipped in my mouth. I don't want to offend her. Geez, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. Babawiin ko sana ang tanong ko pero naunahan nya ako, and her words stuck in my head.

"Would you hate me less if I do?" lumamlam ang mata nito. I opened my mouth but I can't find a right words. The only thing I can do is to curse inside my head.

She's aware.

Of course she is! Dahil wala naman akong ibang ginawa kundi ipakita iyon sa kanya. Ako naman ang nagbaba ng tingin. Why her question hurts so bad?

"I'm used to it" napaangat ako ng tingin nang marinig ko siyang muling magsalita. Nakatingin siya sa kisame, both palms are resting in the soft mattress. She lightly closed her eyes then opened afterwards.