Tied With You ✅

35. Patch up or divorce

Beam's POV

Wait a minute beam...........................
If you don't want to amend your relation then , let him free from this marriage ....divorce him I don't want him to die every second waiting for your forgiveness ..he is paining....divorce him beam ..I will take care of him..there is still people who want him in their life. Lam told me looking at my eyes directly

I saw no emotion was there like always Lam is the cold one in the gang he is the core of their bond I know he hates me because of what I am doing ......but still divorce ..why forth send him to me ? Why he didn't come and talk with me? Am I that hatable a single tear left from my eye it was the first time after 2 years I left myself miserable in front of some one, I never wanted Lam to know the real feelings but when he told me about divorce I couldn't hold back it was about breaking the marriage that I cherished from the start ...the marriage that gave me the two precious gift my two angels.when he told Forth still have people around him that loves him ...I felt a pang in my heart , did forth has someone who loves him more than me ....did he forget me ...did he forget our love , am I the only one suffering because of the distance between us ,I felt like I am alone in this world no one is there for me to stand beside me console me ...I miss mom and dada why god had to take them away from me ...i miss my precious daughter .....why she had to leave me after giving me so much hope I am a worst son, worst mother and worst husband ....I always let down people who loved me ...I was a spoiled brat, ......I never felt responsible for anything always people around me protected me from the worst scenarios....in my childhood my parents protected me teenage time it was Pha and Kit who protected me ...after marriage Forth became my pillar....I forget to stand for myself I always wanted someone to protect me .... when I lost my parents Forth was there for me he consoled me he gave me the courage to move on .....when I lost my daughter I was left alone ...no one was there with me ...forth was also suffering from the loss he never confronted me when I needed him the most....i was sad ..i was angry with Forth but that doesn't mean that i hated him..

He took all blame by himself and give me the time to adjust which I never wanted at first place ..I wanted him to hug me I wanted to cry my heart out by hugging him ...may be I was a weak person who always needed some one to rely on ........that realization was the reason I become like this I kept myself away from everyone I cant lose anymore person and feel miserable ...is that the reason I kept Forth away from me .........
I saw Lam was waiting for my answer he was looking at me this time he has an expression of guilt or sadness in his eyes I hurriedly wiped the tear and told him" If he wanted ...I will give him divorce "
After saying that I left him at the corridor and entered into my cabin I was not expecting him to open the door and rushed into my table and throw a paper which look like a legal document, I looked at his eyes for an explanation he only shouted at me

Sign it .....

When I clearly saw the title of the document I asked him What is this?

Divorce papers ....if you sign this Forth will also sign ..give him the closure that he needs.

After saying that Lam left me alone ....I could not control my sadness I cried miserably finally everything is going to end our 7 years of marriage is going to end how can I endure it I still love forth a lot ....but divorce I never thought once in these years to divorce him ...how can i sign when i cant live without him ...my pager suddenly vibrated I remember my appointment with a child who suffering from cancer I have to meet him I wipped my tears and moved towards the room where the patient was admitted....my colleague nurse Clara who accompanied me for the patient rounds she also entered with me in the same lift ..we were alone nurse Clara was my mom's trusted nurse...who is like my second mother she was the only one who can now understand me without my words ...may be she felt I was crying before so she hugged me and consoled me this time my tear broke down again....