Despite growing up together, Catherine Simmons and Mattis Reed were never close.
Cat was inseparable from Mattis' younger sister, Chloé, while he was busy running around on the football field.
But when Cat's new dream drags her across the country du...
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I miss him.
That's probably not the first thing that should pop into my mind as soon as I wake up, but that's precisely what has happened for the last few days.
I miss Mattis.
It's been almost a week since he took me to the spot in the park. Since then, we've grabbed coffee once, and now the team has gone on the road for a few away games, and Mattis is living rent-free in my head.
It's ridiculous. We hooked up once, and now it's like every waking thought revolves around him.
I huff, getting out of bed. Ava is waiting in the kitchen when I finish dressing. Her eyes quickly coast down my body, and one brow raises when she notices the Columbia Lions hoodie I'm wearing - Mattis' - but she just gives me a small smile and hands over a travel mug of coffee.
Normally this would have warranted teasing, but my roommate has been oddly quiet lately. Actually, both she and Emmy has. Ever since I told them what happened at the Halloween party.
I'd expected Emmy to make a lewd comment, and I'd been prepared for Ava's squeals and countless questions, but they'd both just hugged me. It's like they see right through every assurance I give them that I'm okay.
Because truth be told, I'm not.
Who could have known that one night could fuck so much with my head?
It's because it wasn't just one night. It's been every moment you've spent with him for months, a pesky voice at the back of my head whispers.
Ava locks up the door after us. Our morning class is in one of our shared electives so we can head out together for once. We walk in silence while I sip my coffee. It's odd getting this version of Ava. I'm so used to the boisterous, too-large-for-life girl I've gotten to know. Who knew she had a caring, nurturing side?
We slip into our regular spots in the auditorium, and Ava is immediately approached by some girls from her other classes. They smile politely, and we exchange greetings, but I tune out as they begin gossiping. Ava resumes her role as the life of the party, and it's nice to see my mini-heartbreak hasn't completely broken her.
As class begins, I find myself scribbling down lines for a new poem without thinking much about it.
One memory is all it takes to make the thoughts scramble away High tide and low water running through me waves of imagination breaking over my hollow head Will it ever subside and break its hold on me or am I doomed to an eternity of painful wonder Irresistible daydreams bursting through my defense like weeds through cracks in the pavement The foundation crumbling to the ground my sanity going with it down the drain What remains when all is said and done just waiting for the next memory to set it loose again
I angle the notebook away from Ava, pretending to pay attention to the lecture so she doesn't glimpse the lines. Usually, my writing isn't this tortured but desperate times, right?
