Chapter thirty

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Ava is watching me

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Ava is watching me.

She thinks she is sly about it, but she's not subtle. We're on the couch in our dorm. I'm bent over one of my notebooks, working on something for class, while Ava is supposedly reading a comic book. But every time I turn my attention toward the notebook, I can feel her eyes on me again.

I watch her out of the corner of my eyes. Her eyebrows are pulled together, and she's tugging on a braid, so whatever she's thinking about, she must be worried.

It's driving me nuts.

"What?" I demand, whipping my head up to stare at her, and it only takes her a second too long to look back down at the comic.

She shrugs casually. "Nothing."

I roll my eyes. "Right. I know you have something to say, so just do it."

She looks up again, rolling her lips into her mouth. "Alright. I talked to Reed."

At his name, my body goes rigid. I haven't talked to Mattis since that day he and the team came back from their away games.

"When?"

"Earlier today."

"About what?" I ask, my voice only just failing to pass for nonchalant. My heart beats irregularly.

Ava's eyelids lower a tad, and her deadpan look makes me squirm on the spot. Okay, so she knows. That explains why she's been watching me like I was a wounded animal for the past few hours.

I put down my notebook and lean my head against the back of the couch, suddenly exhausted.

"Why didn't you tell us?" she asks, smoothing out the corner of the comic in her lap.

"I don't know." I shrug pathetically, but the words burn in my throat like a lie.

I do know why. Because even though I was furious after throwing Mattis out of my room five days ago, I don't think he meant what he said. I've known him for too long and come to care about him too much not to give him the benefit of the doubt.

It doesn't excuse what he did, but for him to get the chance to explain, it would be preferable if he were alive and not buried six feet under after Ava got her hands on him.

It's the same reason why I haven't told Chloé. She would order a nuclear attack on Mattis if she found out, and I didn't want one careless comment to cost them their relationship.

Ava side-eyes me, undoubtedly catching the false note of my voice. "I think I know why," she says. She rises from the couch, takes a few steps, and leans back against the kitchen sink, crossing her arms. I wait patiently, doubting it. "Because you're planning to forgive him."

It's an accusation, and my body flares with indignation. Heat rises in my cheeks, and I clench my teeth. I want to flat-out deny it, just to prove her wrong, but she'd be able to hear the lie clear as day.

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