Fear of Red -DaveKat-

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<Daves POV>

I could always count on Karkat to accidently make me feel real hot. Like Ryan Reynolds hot. Top 10 charts men of all time hot. And God when he tugged at me like that even for a moment when we were kissing I very nearly went ape shit off the handle bullshit. Like yes yes tug on my shirt and shit monkey brain goin brrr. 

I watched him pat the grey sheets next to him. His round bed inviting me with lustfull eyes like the sneaky bedsheets they are. I obliged of course, hot man walking my way over in the most awkward way I could've managed to muster out of my body. His comfortable memory foam mattress invited me nicely as I sunk into it next to Karkat. He was looking down to his hands as he nervously tugged at his nails. I lay back against the wall, although it was really difficult to sit this way without accidently pushing the bed forward and falling into the abiss, the void of the ravene that is the space between the bed and wall. I always get fucking stuck  in there. Lookin like a folded chair and shit.
My swagger does not save me from the agony of bodily autonomy.

He had a real pretty face, with troll standards I noticed they all have a different feature that was stronger than the others. Like sea dwellers were MAD tall, Terezi and her gang of teal bloods had chubbier frames. Vriska is.. a stickbug. Oh shit fuck it up stickbug dont disable me ooh shit.

Anyways, yeah, karkat is way different than the other trolls because he's just really pretty. Like, he's average human height. He has a rounder figure from what I could tell, and a very androgynous face. He honestly looked like what an alien thought the ideal human looked like. Except he did it on accident.

I was curious alot about his bloodline more than most things he hid about himself. The others were so loud and proud about it, I had realised their blood was the equivalent of our idea of cultures. And it was important to them to be proud of it, I could empathise with that. Being biracial in a white house, in a white state with no idea of my culture kinda stung sometimes.

Regardless of my own self hatred, karkat never said anything about his bloodline, its colour, his family, nothing. It was all radio silence. Maybe he was a freak mutant or something, either way me and him were both real afraid of the same thing. Kinda.
My whole genetic tree is fucked to the nines, I got shit all kinds of fucked up.
My brother suffered similar, but not the same at all. I was paler than him so no one ever believed us as kids when we said we were related.

The silence of karkats room festered these thoughts, the sexual frustration was in no way dissipating, If anything it was getting worse.
I felt him shift closer to me on the bed, a subtle movement he probably didn't want me to notice.

I leaned into his side, pressing my shoulder to his. "You okay?" I asked softly, dropping my head to rest on his.
He hummed in response, moving his head to look up at me. His eyes looking up to me, he looks nervous. "I want to show you something" his voice cracked, he was afraid I think.
Looking to him, I moved my arm to his shoulder in a caring gesture.

He turned away from me on the bed completely, sifting through the bedside table before stopping for a few moments. He stayed like that for a while, I could see him shaking as he gripped the sheet under him. I put my hand on his back, he jumped slightly.

"You don't have to show me if you're afraid to" I whispered, I wanted to tiptoe around him right now. His voice was shaky as he spoke "its okay, I'm just. Nervous"

It wasnt often karkat admitted he was nervous, he never expressed how he felt. It really made me realise how much this mattered to him, and I could empathise.

I waited patiently for him to turn to face me on his own. I was really confused on what he was going to show me, I was kinda expecting some fucked up sans x papyrus fanart or something.
I wasn't expecting to see what I saw that's for fucking sure.

When he turned to me, he wasnt looking at me, instead he was looking to the side. I was speechless.
Absolutely fucking bamboozled.
I knew he wore contacts but I thought they were those dolly lenses to make your eyes look bigger not fucking colour lenses.
His eyes were a vibrant and impressive red, iridescent in the dim lighting of his room.

I couldn't belive it, someone I cared for so deeply had the same fucking insecurity as me. The same fear of the other finding out. I couldn't even manage to say anything, I was just overwhelmed with a kind of relief.
A weird kind of comfort that I wasn't the only one like this.

My silence must've made him upset, he quickly put that hard wall up again. Tightening his shoulders. Suddenly aware that I should really fucking say something I start talking the only way I could.
"No fucking way" I didn't mean for it to come out so mean, he didn't seem to like that either. He pulled a face and started to talk before I interrupted him by reaching up and very hesitantly taking my shades off.

Delicately dropping them onto my lap I kept my eyes down but his silence said it all.

"No fucking way" he gawked out, I looked up to him and laughed out. "You're so pretty" I spoke again, completely entranced by him.
"I was about to say the exact same thing"

We sat there like that for a while, just looking at each other. I had taken my glasses off in a moment of adrenaline and I was now feeling really exposed.
I had never shown off like this before, and everyone I had ever known always made fun of me. My earliest memories are of kids screaming at the sight of me, like yeah I know children are dramatic but it still fucking stings when all you want is some friends.

I scooted closer to him, sort of exhausted of the silent staring. He was sitting cross-legged, and so was I. So moving about was a bit funky.
"Can I" I spoke softly, moving even closer as I moved my hands to rest of his thighs. "Kiss you?"