Fell in Love with the Devil (LuciferxSupernatural Crossover)

A Priest Walks into a Bar [2]

Lucifer leaned over Maya as she looked over her computer. "That's him. Frank Lawrence. The evilest of people have the most normal names, I've experienced,"

"Lucifer Morningstar's not a normal name," Maya challenged.

"But Maya Winchester is,"

"Well, his criminal record's pretty extensive. Assault and battery, disorderly conduct," Maya listed "drug charges,"

"See? Not very priest-like,"

"But nothing in the past ten years." Maya looked up at Lucifer "Think he made a deal,"

"Wouldn't be able to say, been out of the Hell loop,"

Maya huffed "Restraining order filed by Lenny Arietta last week,"

"Ah, well, it's funny how Padre Punchy failed to mention a restraining order. Please tell me now we have enough to bring this priest down,"

"We have enough to bring him in." Maya smirked at Lucifer "You ready to go to church?"

"Bringing down a priest is the only reason I ever would,"

Maya stepped in front of Lucifer to stop him "Just to clarify. We're bringing him in,"

Lucifer rolled his eyes "Yes, bring him in so we can bring him down,"

Maya shook her head and looked over at Chloe's desk "Chlo, you coming?"

Chloe looked across her desk as Dan walked in "You go ahead. Just something I got to do first,"

Maya and Lucifer shared a look before heading into the elevator.

***

Lucifer pushed open the doors to the inside of the church "Knock, knock,"

Maya rolled her eyes "you always did enjoy making an entrance. Stay here while I look for Father Frank, and don't get into any trouble,"

"It's a church! What am I gonna do, pray too hard?"

Maya noticed Lucifer eye the confessional and shook her head "Look, I may not be a fan of your father, either...but no," she grabbed Lucifer's hand and dragged him along to find Father Frank.

***

"Mr. Morningstar," Father Frank greeted as the duo approached him "surprised to see you again,"

"Oh, I wouldn't miss this for the world," Lucifer teased.

"Father Frank, when was the last time you saw Lenny Arietta?" Maya questioned.

"This morning," Father Frank replied.

"Despite the restraining order,"

"I answer to a higher authority,"

Maya bit her tongue from making a Winchester retort.

"Not today you don't," Lucifer mused.

"What happened when you saw him?" Maya asked.

"We exchanged words." Father Frank admitted. "Things got a little heated,"

"What were you fighting about?"

"That altar boy of his, of course," Lucifer claimed.

"Why were you fighting over Connor?"

"Because I'm worried that Arietta's gonna pull Connor into his drug ring," Father Frank replied.

"So, what, you give him a right hook?" Lucifer wondered, pointing to the Father's bandaged hand.

"Sadly, I did,"

"And then what?" Maya questioned.

"And then I left,"

"Ooh," Lucifer interrupted "no, no, no, I think you skipped a part, didn't you? You know, the part where you beat him to death with a baseball bat?"

"He's dead? Oh, Heavenly Father."

"Oh, come on. How gullible do you think we are?"

"I had troubles with the man, but he didn't deserve to die. And I certainly didn't kill him,"

"Can you account for your whereabouts between 11:30 and 12:00 this morning?" Maya interrogated.

"Uh, I was here. Taking confessions. Mrs. Madison had a lot to say, took up the whole hour,"

"Father, I'm gonna need you to come into the station for a statement,"

***

"Well, maybe the padre has a twin brother who also takes confession; that way he could still be guilty," Lucifer suggested.

"Lucifer, seriously, will you just..." Maya heard the screeching of tires and instinctively pushed Father Frank and Lucifer to the ground "Get down!"

Gunshots went off, shattering a window.

Maya stood back up and watched as the Black SUV turned the corner.

Lucifer looked at Maya "And you wonder why I don't go to church,"