Second Lead

Chapter 40 - Not Anymore

Evangeline Mayford

My idiot brain went numb when I forgot to ask Aliyah which hospital he's in. I swear, I'm not functioning well after hearing that Silas is sick.

I was crying a lot on the plane. Ben kept looking at me confused.

I tried to contact her but she wasn't answering so my one and only way to know is to go to his restaurant. I hoped Ali is still working there.

I went into the lift and go straight to his restaurant. I was nervous and my hands were shaking. I was trying my best to not break down.

"Eva?" Ali saw me as soon as I entered the restaurant.

"Ali." Ali quickly ran to me and he quickly brought me into the office. He gestured me to sit down and that's when I broke down.

"Can you tell me where Silas is? Which hospital is he in?" I asked as I cried.

"Oh?" Ali sat down as he looked at me confused.

"Where is he?"

"He's at home."

"He's not in the hospital? Can you tell me is his condition really that bad?" I asked and Ben started to cry. I quickly got up and tried to calm him down as I was waiting for Ali to answer.

"He is in a bad condition, where have you been? You even have a son.." Ali said and I cried more.

"Is it that bad? Tell me!" I screamed at Ali completely frustrated.

"Eva, you need to calm down." He said and I was trying my best to not go crazy.

"Ali.. please.. I need to see him." I begged and Ali gestured me to sit down.

"Eva, you need to calm down. Take a deep breath and let it out." I tried to calm myself down but Ben was still crying.

"Can you take me to him?" I asked Ali and he nodded.

"How bad is his condition?"

"Life or death situation." I lookee at him completely speechless. The guilt became bigger and now I can't even say a word.

"Why did you leave? He was looking for you and trying to find you so bad."

"You don't understand, Ali." Suddenly Ben stopped crying and I hugged him tightly.

"Don't understand what?"

"He doesn't deserve me. I made a really big mistake."

"Didn't I tell you that I will believe you and understand you?" My whole body froze and Ali took Ben with him. I got up slowly and turned around.

Silas was standing there looking like a zombie. His face was pale as a paper and he didn't shave or cut his hair. He was indeed a mess.

Silas turned to Ben and he picked Ben up from Ali's arms.

"I'll leave you two alone." Ali said.

"Thank you, Ali." Silas said and Ben started to cup Silas' face. Silas walked closer to me but I took a step back.

"Are you okay?" I asked in a small voice.

"I'm dying." He looked straight into my eyes. I bit my lips trying so hard not to cry again.

"So you will only come to me when I'm dying, is that it?" He asked and I can't answer it.

"Do you know that my world is revolving around you? How do you expect me to live without you?" He asked in a soft tone.

"I'm sorry, Silas."

"I told you to be selfish with me. I told you that I will believe you. I told you that I will understand you. Am I not enough, Angel?" I broke down when he called my name. I can't handle it anymore.

How can God be this cruel? Why did He give him cancer when he should have give it to me? I made a lot of mistakes and don't deserve any of his kindness.

"I'm sorry." I said as I cried.

"I love you.. so much. Do you know that?" He asked as he slowly walked towards me. He stood in front of me and pulled me into a hug. He held me tightly and I hugged me tightly praying to God that he could transfer all his pain and all his sickness to me.

"How can you be so heartless by sending me those divorce papers?" He asked and I couldn't answer it.

"I'm sorry." I said and he pulled away.

"Now.. I want you to tell me." He held my hand and walked me to the sofa. We both sat down facing each other and Silas put Ben in the middle. Ben reached for my hand.

"Do you still need time? How much do you need? A year? Two years? Three years? How much?" He asked making me feel guilty.

"I'm staying."

"Where do you want to stay? In Singapore? In New York? In LA? In Dubai? Where?" He asked again.

"Here, in Dubai."

"Do you want me to stay away from you or do you-"

"No." I cut him and he raised his eyebrows.

"I will stay by your side."

"Why? Because I have cancer?" He asked and I gulped nervously.

"Why? Because you want to be by my side when I die?"

"I want to help you go through it, I will find the best doctor to cure you." I said quickly and Silas shook his head.

"Why? I thought you don't care since you ran away from me."

"Silas." He started to cry and he was trying so hard to even breath.

"How could you did that to me?" He cried looking at me and it made me cry too. I didn't know that it will hurt him like this. I thought our marriage was short and meaningless.

For me, it was whole world. I never knew it was everything for him too.

"Do you know how much I cry everytime I remember you? There's not have been a day that I'm worried about you! How can you do that to me?" He asked as he got up from the sofa. I quickly pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry. I don't know.. I don't that you will feel like this." I apologized and my heart was hurting.

"I swear.. if you leave me again once more, I'll kill myself." I hugged him even tighter.

"I'm sorry, I will never leave you. Not again.. not anymore."