"I don't have time for a dog!"
"Woof!"
-𖧷-
In which, Jason Knights is one of the 43 children born on October 1, 1989.
While running away from animal control, he runs into Number Five -literally- and accidentally time travels with him Into a time...
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(Once again, I couldn't find a gif so this ain't a gif! Don't wait for it to load!)
After hours of inappropriate but very much appreciated pets and coos, Ray decided to leave the house.
Unfortunately, it was to take out the dog for a walk.
It meant peeing while looking into the eyes of his lover's sister's husband awkwardly, something they'd both rather not do but there is no escaping it. While they were at it, Jason left a big present for Ray which he picked up with a plastic bag while cursing Jason. He knew his gift would be well received!
When they came back Allison had already left for work and so with a pat on the head and instructions to not destroy the house followed by a sigh which Jason translated to 'I'm talking to a dog! He's not gonna get it' (offensive) Raymond left the house to go do his own thingy.
Jason —Chew-Barka— sat behind the door while wagging the tail, before he shook his head and snapped out of the longing for bestie dog phase and turned into a human (naked of course, how else).
"Gosh," he said as he cracked his back and fingers, and wow, so many cracks, "I would do anything for a pizza right now."
Which is how a pizza delivery found its way to the chestnut house and was met with a very happy naked child watching Gerald Mcboing-Boing. He ran away before he could get his money and shouted for him to just leave him alone and have mercy.
Jason only shrugged and picked up his pizza —no pineapple on top— before going back inside to watch tv.
Gerald Mcboing-Boing's IMDb was 7/10 which Jason —and the narrator— found outrageous and demand that it gets at least a 10.
No one knows how Jason got internet and a smartphone and Gerald Mcboing-Boing but we're not going to question him or the writer.
Allison was the first to arrive, she took one of the remaining pizza slices and patted Jason on the head before going upstairs. Shortly after, Raymond came home to find the dog innocently sitting next to an empty box of pizza that had 'the dog didn't order this' written on the inside of it and Johnny Bravo playing on the tv. The human male looked from one thing to the other before blinking and moving on. He would fit perfectly in the chaotic Hargreeves household.
Chew-Barka followed him in the kitchen as he shouted if Allison had seen the paper today --which was very rude, at least say 'hello honey, I love you' first-- and sat patiently as Allison came down the stairs like the fucking Queen she is in a nice yellow dress.
They started being grossly in love.
Jason was Allison's biggest fan and he would fight anyone who claimed they were her biggest fan because she was an icon and he had a PowerPoint ready in case someone disagreed.
