Loving you in every Chances

SIMULA

| SIMULA |

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" I love you Sofia, maging matatag ka ha?" napapaos na sambit nito sa akin.

Tumango ako pilit na nilalabanan ang mga luhang gusto ng lumabas. Hinawakan ko ng mahigpit ang kamay niya at nagpahalumbaba.

" I want to rest now Sofia.... Will you let me?" nahihirapang sambit nito sa akin.
Please God. not now , hindi pa ako handa. Im too young for this. I wasn't prepared for this moment to come.

" What if I say no Mama?... what if I ask you not to go muna?." Inosenting tanong ko rito.

Pilit siyang tumawa sa sinabi ko kahit na nahihirapan." Oh my Princess, you're too innocent and precious ". She said, as she rub his palm on my cheeks while smiling to me.

Hindi ko siya tiningnan dahil pakiramdam ko kapag tinignan ko siya tuluyan ng babagsak ang aking mga luha... Hindi ako nagsalita dahil hindi ko kaya... Hindi ko kayang makita ang aking ina sa ganong kalagayan. Dinadama ko ang bawat paghaplos niya sa aking pisngi dahil baka ito na ang huli.

" I want to rest eternally...Sofia" she said while laughing as if it is a joke.

" Hindi mo na ba talaga kaya Mama?" tanong ko at umiling siya.

" Even if I tried to , my own body.. is g-giving up on me.. a-anak." sabi niya kahit na nahihirapan. Pilit parin siyang ngumiti sa akin, pero ako hindi magawang ngumiti sa kanya pabalik.
Doon bumuhos ang mga luha na kanina ko pa pinipigilan, hindi na niya kaya... my mother is already tired.

" You're so unfair Mama!... You said you would cook me my favorite c-chocolate cake..... You said we will blow out your b-birthday candle t-together." sabi ko sa kanya. My tears are pouring so heavy, my throat started to get dry.

" L-Life is always unfair, Sofia... There's no fair in this w-world even if we tried to make it fair. " She said.

She motioned me to come near her kaya lumapit ako sa kanya.

".. Just always remember that i will always be there... at your heart." tumango ako at yumakap ng mahigpit sa kanya, niyakap rin niya ako ng mahigpit pabalik katumbas ng pagkakayakap ko sa kanya. I will miss this... I will surely miss my Mama's warmth, her hugs and her kisses.

" HAPPY BIRTHDAY Mama!" sabi ko sa gitna ng aking pag-iyak. "Thanks for holding everything together even when things seemed like they were f-falling apart.... T- Thanks for all the times you picked me up when I was d-down, L-laughed at my jokes and helped me chase my d-dreams....
Thanks for being constant in this world filled of inconsistencies.... I l- love you.. "

" I love you too, anak ko " she said in a weak voice, as she rub my back. Tumango ako, tears is flowing in my eyes heavily and my vision started to get blurred.

" N-now I can rest e-eternally... " at unti - unting lumuwag ang pagkakayakap niya sa akin ,and thats it.. tuluyan na siyang binawi sa akin... sa amin. My mom died infront of me... My mom died in her own birthday.

I cameback to my reverie when someone shouted at me.

"I love you!". He shouted. I looked at him and he smiled at me.
" I love you too!" I shouted back that makes him giggle and I smile because of that.

I was here in my balcony, enjoying the snow fall from the sky. I smiled at it's beauty. I can feel the cold breeze hitting my face that makes me tickled. Children's laughs and giggles is all I can hear, they are cheerfully playing in the snow. I can't help myself but to smile, they seems free , happy and no problem at all.