Depression

One

TW'S: Mentions of Scars, Panic Attack, Being Hit

Why am I writing this at 4am on Friday the 13th? Like seriously

EYO-

I JUST REMEMBERED THE TIME AND DATE, I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF OMG

Anyways

Here you go:

Natsu Dragneel opened his eyes and sighed. Why was he awake again? He didn't deserve to be.

He sat up and looked around. He honestly didn't want to get out of bed but he knew he had to, if he didn't then Erza would be mad and he didn't want to upset anymore people in his life. He was already a failure, he didn't want to be even worse.

"Natsu, can we go to the guild early because I want to show Caaaarla something?" A voice asked from behind him. "Sure Happy." He replied and stood up. He ignored the black dots in his vision as he went to the bathroom. He closed the door and turned the shower on. He looked to his left and could see himself in the mirror and what he saw was horrible. A weak, ugly, pathetic, useless burden

He took his hoodie off and looked at the scars that covered his arms. This is his secret. This is what he's been hiding from everyone. No one can know. He doesn't want their pity.

Natsu sighed and took the rest of his clothes revealing scars all over his thighs. He got into the shower and the newer cuts stung. His newer ones were on his stomach which was really sensitive so the stinging from the warm water made it hurt even more but he deserves it. He is a burden to everyone. He doesn't deserve to be here. He doesn't even know why he is still here anymore.

He started washing his hair and then the rest of his body. He turned the water off and dried his hair. He got some other clothes on and looked in the mirror again. He put his hand through his hair and faked a smile. He looked at the door and opened it. He went to where Happy was and they left to go to the guild.

"It's really warm Natsu and you're still wearing a hoodie." Happy pointed out. "The heat doesn't affect me." Natsu replied. "But you never wear T-Shirts anymore." "That's because I don't like them, I prefer hoodies as they have pockets." Natsu said. "You used to wear them all the time." Happy said. "Just leave it Happy." Natsu said angrily. He looked at Happy to see him crying. There is another bad thing Natsu has done.

"Happy, don't cry, I wasn't trying to be mean." He said. "I'm going to Carla!" Happy cried and flew off. Dammit, now I'm in trouble. Natsu sighed and thought about how everyone would react to seeing Happy crying. They're gonna hate me. Dammit, I've messed up so much. I'm going to be in so much trouble with Erza. Are the thoughts which ran through his mind as he slowly grew closer to the Guild Hall.

He pushed the doors open and silence. He looked around and everyone was giving him a look.

"Natsu." He heard a voice say angrily. Must be Erza.

"Why did you make Happy cry?" She was clearly fed up. "I didn't." Natsu answered. "Yes...you...did, he didn't tell us anything, he was in tears Natsu, tears, because of you." "You don't know that." Gray said. Everyone turned to look at him and he sighed.

"Do you want me to hit you?!" Erza raised her voice and he was instantly in fear, everyone was at this point. Suddenly Natsu felt a sharp pain on his head and realised that he had been punched by someone. He could hear ringing in his ears and everything was a blur. He felt extremely dizzy and he started to panic. He was shaking a lot and needed to get out of there. He could hear someone walking over to him and they helped him walk out of the guild. They were speaking but he couldn't focus on what they were saying.

Natsu started to struggle to breathe and he fell onto his knees clutching at his chest. Not now. Breathe Natsu, you're going to be okay.

"Natsu?" A voice said. It was a males voice.

"Natsu? What's happening, are you okay?" The person asked. He thought it was Gray but he wasn't 100% sure.

"P-P-Panic A-Attack." He stuttered. "Uh, breathe?" The voice said, they clearly didn't know what they were doing. Natsu was now breathing really heavily and thought that he was going to die.

"Ohhh, I know what they are, okay, Natsu, focus on my voice." The person said. Maybe they do know what they're doing.

"Natsu, it's going to be okay, trust me, you're safe, I'm here." They said. Natsu looked up slightly and saw Gray looking back at him.

"T-Talk." Natsu managed to say. "About what?" Gray asked. "A-A-Any-yth-hing." He stuttered. "O-Okay?" Gray said sounding slightly confused.

"I find Juvia really annoying when she follows me around all the time, she doesn't give me any personal space, she doesn't understand that I just want to be left alone and I can't even like her anyway." He said. "I'm gay." He came out. "I-I'm p-proud o-o-of you." Natsu stuttered. "Thank you, I didn't think I'd ever be coming out to you but here we are now." Gray said and laughed slightly. "Can you please not tell anyone because you're the only one who knows." "I-I won't." Natsu said. "Thank you, it's been hard keeping it a secret for so long." Gray admitted. "Y-You shouldn't h-have kept it a secret, e-everyone at the guild would s-support y-you." Natsu said. "I know but I get scared, like what if they don't?" "Then I'd shout a-at them." Natsu said which made Gray smile.

"Can we go somewhere else?" Natsu asked and Gray nodded his head. "Do you want to go to mine?" He asked and Natsu nodded his head. He wasn't really too bothered where he went at this point in time, he just wanted to he away from the guild.

After a few minutes of walking the two boys finally arrived at Gray's house. Gray unlocked the door and they both went inside with Gray closing it behind them. He turned around to see Natsu laying down on the sofa (couch). He must be exhausted from his Panic Attack.

Gray went into his kitchen and closed the door so Natsu wouldn't wake up from anything he does. He didn't want to accidently drop something that would cause him to wake up.

Ding

Gray took his phone out of his pocket and saw a text from Erza. He opened it and read it.

Hey is Natsu okay? Lucy keeps apologising about hitting him that hard, she's really upset about it.

Gray rolled his eyes and leaned on the counter. He sighed and replied with:

He's fine

He turned his phone off and put it on the counter. After a few seconds someone started calling him. He looked at who it was and it was Wendy. He picked it up and sighed again, he really didn't want to deal with it at the moment.

"Gray, Gramps wants to speak to Natsu, he seems pretty mad." The girl said over the phone. "He's not with me, sorry." Gray said and hung up. He decided to go to his room and get some sleep.

I wonder how Natsu will be in the morning

Friday 13th August 2021

Sorry if these dates annoy you, I just want to know when I wrote something so I know when it's been a year or how old it is. Idek why at this point, I migjt not even remember the dates for some.