Depression

Ten

TW: Language, talk about Suicide/Self-Harm

With Natsu

"I don't want to go on the trainnn, why can't we just walk?!" A sick looking Natsu complained. "Because taking the train is so much quicker, besides, Erza will knock you out." Lucy replied, annoyed by the Dragon Slayer's complaints about the train.

"I think I'm going to start appreciating the ground more." Natsu mumbled, only Gray hearing him.

After a few minutes the train arrived and Erza had to literally drag Natsu onto the train. He had threatened to run off a few times but Erza said if he did she'd kill him.

"I'm gonna be sick." "We haven't even started moving yet!!" Lucy raised her voice at the sick looking guy. Everyone else just laughed at her sudden outburst.

"Wendy, can't you do something?" Natsu asked the other sick looking Dragon Slayer. "Don't waste your magic Wendy." Carla said, rolling her eyes. She was clearly annoyed about all the commotion.

"Let's all just calm down." Erza ordered and everyone nodded their heads, apart from Natsu and Wendy who were trying their best not to be sick everywhere.

1 hour later

"FINALLY, SOME GROUND!!" Natsu shouted, jumping off of the train with Wendy. After a few seconds the others appeared, looking frustrated.

"It's just the ground, get over it Natsu." Gray said, dragged Natsu away from the floor which he was currently trying to lay on.

"Which way is it to Sabertooth again?" Erza asked to no one in particular. "Should be this way." Mirajane said, leading the way. Everyone followed her until they arrived at Sabertooth's Guild Hall.

They were greeted by a couple of the members and were led to Rogue who was chained to a bed. His hair was greasy and he had been crying. He looked like he had eaten in about a week.

"Hey Rogue." Natsu spoke first. "GO AWAY!!" He screamed which hurt Natsu's ears a little bit. He walked closer to him and sat on a chair beside his bed. The others stayed far back.

"What's been going on Rogue?" Natsu asked in a calm tone. "He's been-" "Let me hear from him." Natsu cut Erza off. He turned to Rogue who seemed pretty calm.

"Sting went missing and I can't live without him." Rogue admitted. "I understand-" "You don't though, look at you, happy go lucky Natsu Dragneel. You don't understand, you'll never understand, you don't know what pain is, what emotional pain actually is, you've never felt it so don't you dare tell me that you understand. I want to die, I feel lost, numb, helpless and you, the happiest person alive, sits next to me and tells me that he understands. How dare you say that!" He rants.

Natsu looked at the others. They looked shocked, shocked at what Rogue had just said. Rogue had no right to say that. Of course Natsu had felt emotional pain, he lost Igneel for fucks sake.

"Now let me out of the chains so I can jump out of that window and be free." Rogue ordered. Instead of letting him out of his chains, Natsu punched him in the head, knocking him out cold.

"Natsu!" Erza scolded him. "Leave me alone Erza." He said as he left the room, Gray rushing after him.

"Natsu!" He called, chasing after him in the Guild Hall. Natsu aggressively opened the doors and left.

"Wait up!" "Leave me alone!" Natsu turned around and pushed him away, making Gray almost fall over.

"I am not leaving you, not after what Rogue just said." "Whatever Gray, it doesn't mean anything to me, it's just words." Natsu was starting to tear up.

"Come here." Gray said, holding his arms out. Natsu walked closer to him and hugged him, bursting into tears.

"I know you can relate to a ton of stuff he said, and I'm sorry." Gray said. "It's fine." Natsu whispered back. "Well it's not fine but..." He didn't know what to say.

"You want to tell me but don't want to waste my time?" "Yes." Natsu replied. "Natsu, you could never waste my time so if you want to talk to me you can." He replied, splitting the hug between the two.

"It's just, I feel like, I don't know..." Natsu said, trying to find the words. "I feel like that too, I feel numb and helpess, like I'm lost and can't find a way out. I want to die but I'm too scared, too scared to leave this world. And then him telling me I've never felt emotional pain *sob*, it just hurts." Natsu started to cry again.

Gray didn't know what to say so he just hugged him again.

"I want to cut my entire arm up but I don't at the same time. I like looking at the blood, at the scars, they make me feel good. They're comforting to me. I know how weird that sounds but I seriously find it nice to look at." "That's not weird Natsu, I promise." Gray said in a soft tone. Natsu didn't say anything, only nodded his head in response.

"Do you want to go back inside now?" Gray asked and the crying boy shook his head and let go of him. "Can we stay outside for a bit? The fresh air feels nice." "Sure." Gray said.

They found a bench to sit on and Natsu rested his head on Gray's shoulder.

"If you don't mind me asking, what made you start Self-Harming?" Gray asked. Natsu stayed silent for a second and answered with, "I heard some people talking about it, saying how their friend did it so then I decided to see why people enjoyed it so much and then I did it." Natsu replied. "But now I realise that people don't enjoy it, maybe while they're doing it, but the regret afterwards, after being a failure, it sucks." He added.

Gray didn't do anything, only listened to the Dragon Slayer talk.

"And people always wonder why we don't just stop, we try but can't, there is no way out, it's addicting." He said. "I'm not prepared to stop, I don't even want to stop and that's the problem. I know I need to stop but I don't want to. The idea of stopping just doesn't sound right with me, but now that I've told you, you're just going to make me stop, not that I'm angry at you for that. It's for the best."

"At least you know that." Gray replied, now stroking Natsu's hair.

"That's where you two are." A sudden voice said from behind them. Both boys instantly jumping off the bench and turned around to see Erza standing there.

"How long have you been standing there for?" Natsu asked. "I only just got here." Erza replied.

"We might know where Sting is so you boys better come inside." She said and walked off.

"Come on." Gray said and took Natsu by the hand, leading back into the Guild Hall.