Depression

Five

TW: Panic Attack/Self-Harm/Mention of Blades

Natsu woke up and realised that he was on the floor. Did he fall asleep? He sighed and sat up, with his head hurting a little bit. He had fallen asleep on the floor. The floor?!

He got a message on his phone and checked who it was. Gray. He opened it and smiled slightly. He actually cared about him.

Have you eaten today?

Natsu knew that he had no food in his house so he couldn't really eat even if he wanted to. He quickly replied and waited for the response.

Natsu: No, I don't have any food

Gray: I can give you some

Natsu: No, I don't wanna waste your food, I'll be fine

Gray: You need to eat Natsu, you need to take care of yourself, please eat

Natsu: Why do you are about me all of a sudden?

Gray: I've always cared about you Natsu

Natsu: Whatever

Natsu turned his phone off and sighed. He realised that he was still sat on the floor so he got up and got in the shower. He got dressed and decided to go to the lake. When he got there he sat down and looked at the water. It made him feel relaxed.

With Gray

Gray was on Google trying to find ways to help Natsu. He was trying to be nice to him so Natsu could feel comfortable enough to tell him his secrets. Gray couldn't just tell him that he knew, or could he? No, Natsu would feel like he only cares because of it. He'll just have to keep an eye on him for a while.

Gray decided to go to the guild and when he got there it was extremely quiet. Everyone looked worried about something. Were they worried about him or Natsu?

"Have you seen Natsu?" Erza asked, finally breaking the silence. "Uh, yeah, yesterday, why?" Gray asked. "What was he doing?" "He was in pain, I went to his house to check on him, he came to the guild." Gray said. Everyone looked shocked apart from Wendy who was just standing there awkwardly.

Suddenly Gray got a message and he opened it. It was from Natsu.

Gggry

He raised an eyebrow and realised that everyone was looking at him.

"Who is it?" Erza asked. "Nat-" "What did he say?" She cut him off. He looked back down at his phone to see more messages.

Hhhelp

PleSg

Gray started to become worried and replied to the messages.

Gray: You okay?

Natsu: Psnrica Atcejck

Gray: What?

Natsu: Pabiuc ayyack

Gray: Panic Attack?

Natsu: Yeds

Gray: Where are you?

Natsu: Lakkiie

Gray: Lake?

Natsu: Yedsd

Gray: I'll be there in a minute, it's going to be okay, just breathe okay?

Natsu: Hhhury uk

Gray turned his phone off and ran out of the guild. He could hear someone following him but that didn't matter for now, Natsu was his main priority, he could worry about it later.

He could start to see the forest in the distance so he started running even faster. When he could see the lake he slowed down as he knew he was near Natsu. He looked around and saw the dragon slayer on the floor clutching his chest and breathing heavily. He walked slowly towards him so he knew that he was there.

"Natsu." He said softly and watched him look up. "Listen to me Natsu, breathe in and out okay?" "O-Ok...ay." Natsu managed to say.

Gray could hear footsteps from behind them so he turned around to see a worried looking Erza. He turned back around to look at Natsu and he went down to his height.

"It's going to be okay, you're safe Natsu." He reassured. Natsu nodded his head and slowly his breathing started to go back to normal. After a few minutes he sat down and noticed Erza.

"I wanna go home." He said. Gray nodded his head and helped him up. Natsu totally ignored Erza and they went to Natsu's house. When they got there Natsu went straight to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He got his razor out and took the blade out of it. He rolled his sleeve up and put the blade against his wrist. He made a deep cut and watched the blood start to come out. He hid the blade under the bin and threw the razor away. He could hear speaking from outside the door and he sighed, he had completely forgotten about Erza and Gray.

Natsu covered his wrist with a towel to stop the bleeding. He personally didn't want to bleed to death with his friends standing just outside.

"Natsu?" He heard Gray call from outside. "What?" Natsu asked. "Whatcha doing in there? Erza's gone now, you can come out." Natsu sighed and checked his cut. He was still bleeding so he couldn't leave the bathroom just yet.

"I'll be out in a minute." He said and applied more pressure on the cut. After a few minutes he put the towel in the sink and rolled his sleeve back down. He walked out of the bathroom and saw Gray standing outside. They smiled at each other and suddenly Gray hugged him.

"You okay?" Natsu asked and Gray nodded his head. "I just wanted to hug you." He whispered. "Why?" Natsu asked. "I know it must be stressful having a panic attack." He answered. "And I'm sorry you have to go through that and I'm glad that you came to me for help." He added. "You're the only person who knows about it, well, used to be." "I told Erza that that was the only time you've had one, she doesn't know about the time when Lucy hit you and you had one." Gray said. "Thank you." Natsu whispered. "I wouldn't tell anyone unless you wanted me to and you know you can tell me anything right? I want to be here for you and if you were going through something then I'd want to know?" Gray said. Natsu then split the hug and looked like he was about to cry.

"I get panic attacks a lot, I normally know how to calm myself down but recently it's been getting worse and I'm scared for how bad it's gonna get, when I was texting you earlier I literally couldn't see what I was typing, my vision was completely blurred and I'm scared for what could happen next, like what if I can't even read what you're saying to me next time, I'm scared Gray." Natsu ranted. "It's going to be okay, I promise, if you have another panic attack just send me a bunch of letters or call me, I'm always gonna be here for you Natsu, I'll keep you safe." Gray said. "You can't always be there for me, I'm afraid to be alone Gray but I want to be alone, I'd rather just have someone in my house with me but to be alone in my room if you get what I mean. Happy doesn't really help because he doesn't know I have panic attacks and he wouldn't know what to do." Natsu explained. Gray nodded his head and sighed. He looked at Natsu in the eyes and thought of something to say.

"Look, if you need someone to talk to or someone to be around then I am here, always but you're gonna need to tell Happy just incase you can't turn your phone on or can't see who you're messaging, okay?" "B-But, Happy might judge me or something." Natsu whispered. "Okay, we'll keep this a secret for now and eventually tell him, do you want me to stay for the night?" Gray asked. "If you don't mind." Natsu said, sounding ashamed. "I don't mind Natsu." He answered. "Thank you." "Don't thank me, I just want to help." Gray said. "But it means a lot, so thank you." "No problem."

THAT WHAT A HORRIBLE ENDING BAHAHAHA