Phoenix

Prologue

A/N: Yes, this is indeed in the same universe as the Savior series, but you do not have to read those books first to read this one. Also, just a warning, this is a book meant for an older, mature audience, so keep that in mind. Other than that, I hope you enjoy!

Immortality.

Some would say that it's a blessing in disguise, to be able to live for so long and see the world as it changed around you. To see what humanity could evolve into. To be able to not worry about where to walk at night, or if you were going to die in your sleep or some other cause.

But I can tell you straight up, immortality wasn't a blessing. It was a curse, one thing that could completely tear you up and make you wish that death could give you sweet release. If only I had died all those millennia ago, when Adam had stabbed me in order to protect the monstrosity he had given his heart to. If only those times where I had been hit by a speeding car, announced dead on sight, was permanent. Perhaps I wouldn't be so riddled in misery and pain.

I've lost count how many times I have died. Lost count on how many morgues I had woke up in, or how many times the mortician nearly fainted in fright when they saw me sit up on those cold, metal tables. I could die as many times as it took...but I would always come back one way or the other. Hell, I was the only angel that was cursed with such a thing, and frankly, I frequently wondered why Father had burdened me this ability.

My life was extremely lonely. Everyone I had a special bond with had died of old age, or withered away into nothingness while I was forced to watch the world go on. Friends. Lovers. People I had considered as family...all of them eventually left me, and it made for a pretty shitty life of loneliness.

Hell, even after so many millennia, I could remember the first woman I had ever fallen in love with. It was the year 1692, the time that the Salem Witch trials were at full throttle. I was still wounded, and hurt by Adam's betrayal, my clothes basically nonexistent thanks to my Rebirth, so I was pretty much nude as I wondered through the deep forests I had woke up in. My hair was long, nearly down to my waist in tangled knots, and continuously kept getting caught on branches and plants as I walked. I remember that, at one point after my hair got caught once again, I debated whether or not to just sheer the length of it off of me so that I wouldn't be irritated by the flora around me trying to snag the strands from my scalp. I could use flames to seer the strands off...however, I didn't even know what realm I was in or if my magic would even work. It was best not to try, less I accidentally blow myself up with my own magic.

So I opted to just deal with it as I finally stumbled upon a pond deep within the forest, goosebumps raising on my flesh as I knelt in the snow. I remember feeling surprised that the pond wasn't frozen, despite the frigid weather, but I was grateful that it wasn't, so that I could finally wash away the ashes and soot that was caked on my tanned flesh.

I gritted my teeth as I shoved my hands into the freezing water, my breath creating small clouds as I splashed water in my face and scrubbed my skin. And by the time I was done, I was sure that frost was beginning to form on my body from how cold it was. I hated the cold.

A twig had snapped then, yanking my attention away from the pond as I pulled myself back on my feet, shivering as my eyes scanned the area. But then, a woman stepped from behind a few trees, carrying a basket that looked as if it were filled with clothes. She stopped right in her tracks when she saw me, though, her eyes wide as she inhaled sharply. Honestly, it didn't even occur to me that I was still naked, not until her eyes dropped to my genitalia that sort of was just...well...hanging there.

Feeling my skin warming in embarrassment at being seen in such a state, I immediately covered myself with my hand, averting my gaze from the beauty that stood in front of me. "P-Please forgive me, I-I'm lost and do not know where my clothes went." I managed to stutter as the woman slowly placed the basket of clothes down by her feet.

Her lips...lips as pink as a lily, opened and closed, as if she had no idea what she wanted to say. Finally, after a few seconds of awkward staring, she spoke, her voice as soft as honey. "Who are you? I don't recall ever seeing anyone like you around our village."

"I'm afraid I'm not from here," I had told her, and I made the effort to look a little skittish and shy as I averted my gaze. "I was...attacked, my possessions stolen. Now that I think about it, I'm sure they're the ones that stole my clothes. Although I cannot fathom why they would have use for such cheap fabric."

The woman frowned then, confliction swirling within those dark eyes, as if she wasn't quite sure where to go from there. Finally, she shuffled through the clothes she had in the basket and pulled a couple of things out, before she took a few tentative steps towards me, holding a shirt and pair of trousers towards me. "I am sorry for your misfortune, good sir. Ah...I'm sure my father will not miss these." A blush darted across her pale cheeks as her eyes dropped once more. "Besides, I would rather you not freeze to death in such frigid weather. It's not much, but it is indeed something."

I remembered thanking her, and I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but eventually, I found myself somehow living in her house alongside her brothers and father. Her name was Sarah, and her father had been the blacksmith of the town, while her brothers helped build buildings in the town. They gave me a home, a place where I didn't have to worry about the crazy realities of the world beyond. I was free. And eventually, Sarah and I had fallen deeply in love. The only downside, was that she was promised to a rich man by the name of Charles. However...that didn't stop us from sneaking out in the night, making love with one another until that one perfect night she told me she was pregnant.

"I just know, Phoenix. I can feel it deep within me and I know that I am with child. I-I am unsure how to explain it to a man...but a woman knows."

It didn't take long before her father found out, and god...he had been furious. I was sure that I still had the scars from where he had beaten me, and Sarah had been crying hysterically. Her father killed me at some point, buried me somewhere in the forest where Sarah and I had first met. Of course, no matter how hard I try, my death wasn't permanent and when I went to search for Sarah, take her away...I...I found she had been tried as a witch and hung.

The first love of my life had been murdered along with our unborn baby and had my death stayed permanent...I wouldn't have had to deal with the pain of losing them both.

So no, immortality was a dreadful, painful experience and I would literally give anything I could in order to just stay dead.

But like I said...I was cursed and this was my life, I guess.

I eventually found love again, created a family and was able to live a long, wonderful life with her. But she also had been just a human, and ended up eventually dying of old age. One, after the other, after the other...my children all grew up and had families of their own...and I just gave up on finding love. They either died of old age, or some other cause, or were so desperate to just have sex with me that it turned me off from them. Perhaps it was better to not fall in love anymore. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so depressed all the time.