Phoenix

Chapter One

Apparently I was a masochist. I kept telling myself over, and over that I wouldn't try to find another woman to fill that empty void in my life, yet every time I told myself that, within a week I would be sitting in a pretty restaurant with a woman sitting in front of me. Part of me often wondered if maybe, somehow, the need to have someone to hold me stemmed from my brother's betrayal all those millennia ago.

I mean, after he killed me...it was like no one even remembered that I existed. No one came to see if I was ok, and maybe that was why I was so desperate to find love, despite it only hurting me in the end.

But dating was so...taxing in this day and age. A lot of women were fiercely independent and believed they didn't need a man in their lives to dictate what they could, and couldn't do. Then there were the one that flaunted themselves around, breasts practically spilling out of their tops that were much too small for them. Then if you didn't compliment them, they would act offended and would come up with a million questions asking why I didn't find them attractive.

It made me wonder what the hell happened to the modest, respectable women of the past to make them these screeching, easily offended, desperate individuals that were gung-ho about whatever the hell they wanted.

Maybe it was just where I lived. Maybe not. Who knows for sure, anymore?

What I did know, was that here I was, sitting across from a woman who babbled on about some kind of new hair product. I was only half listening, nodding occasionally to give her the illusion that I was engrossed in whatever she was saying.

I knew it was wrong of me, and I did feel a little guilty...but what man wanted to hear about hair products? Tell me what you aspire for in life, or what you dream about doing in the future. Not that Product A makes your hair silkier than Product B. I get that I had long hair, but I just bought whatever the hell I could afford.

"Gosh I want this new product, but it's expensive as hell, and-hey! Are you listening to me?!"

I pulled myself out of my head and stared across the table at the beautiful brunette, who looked offended as her green eyes snapped fire. I bit the inside of my cheek, shooting her an apologetic look as I pushed my chair back and stood up, digging out my wallet to place a few bills onto the table. "I'm so sorry, Amanda, but I...I don't think this is going to work out. I'm sorry for wasting your time."

The woman's jaw dropped open in shock, and I knew I had fucked up when she abruptly shot up from her seat, anger radiating off of her like a furnace. "My name is Margrette, you asshole! Ugh, the audacity!"

Before I could get another word in, she snatched her purse and stomped off, but not before shoving up her middle finger as she shoved past a waiter, nearly making him drop the tray of food he held in his hands. A few of the patrons stared in amusement and wonder, some of them even snickering in their palms, and while I was embarrassed at the attention, I paid the onlookers no mind as I went to pay for my food.

Why the hell was dating so hard? Back then, falling in love had been an amazing, pure experience...now it was stressful, and difficult to even find someone who was decent enough to share an intelligent conversation with.

I sighed in relief when I stepped out of the restaurant, the air crisp and cold as I breathed, and while I hated the cold, given that I was the Angel of Fire and was everything warm and cozy, I actually relished the frigid bite to my skin as I fished for the keys to my car, barely paying any attention to the people who passed me curious glances as I got in and shut the door behind me. After a moment, I glanced back towards the restaurant, a heavy, depressing feeling in my chest before I shook my head and started my car, ready to go home and be done with today.

I was overjoyed when I finally saw the familiar brick house that was my sanctuary, a weight lifting off of my chest when I finally made it inside, dropping my keys off in the bowl that sat on a small table next to the door. And of course, not even a few seconds later, my cat Pepper came darting towards me, his tail up as those lime green eyes begged me to feed him.

I don't know why he acted like he was starving all the time when his bowl was pretty much always full, but I bent down anyway to scratch him under the chin before I made my way into the open kitchen/living room, opening the fridge to take out a bottle of water for me. After that whole fiasco with...gosh, what was her name again? I was completely parched.

I unscrewed the cap and took a long guzzle, all while Pepper jumped onto the counter to give me the most pitiful look he could manage. I chuckled in amusement and hoisted him up in my arms, the feline immediately purring as I took him into the living room and sat down on the couch, gently petting him as I stared at the blank tv screen.

"Dating is so hard," I muttered, causing Pepper to peer at me curiously. "I don't know why I try so hard when the women of today are so...I don't know...difficult? It's honestly hard to understand them sometimes and it makes for an awkward date." I sighed and looked down at Pepper, who looked completely at peace as I scratched the money shot just behind his ears. "You're lucky you don't have to deal with all that crap. All you do is just lay around, eat, poop and sleep. God, what I wouldn't give for a simple, carefree life like that. I'm envious."

Pepper yawned loudly at that, revealing those little teeth, his nails extending to dig into the fabric of my bleached jeans. He then hopped off of me and ran over to his food bowl, as if I didn't just attempt to have a conversation with him. I pouted dramatically and crossed my arms over my chest, feeling quite amused. "Fine. Abandon me for your food, jerk. See if I ever buy you any treats again."

Pepper ignored me, and an amused smile fell across my face as I shook my head and flicked on the tv for some background noise.

Apparently, after a while, I had fallen asleep, and I found that out after being startled awake by...I don't know, something. I wasn't sure what woke me, but I ended up rubbing my eyes as I sat up, Pepper protesting with a little mewl as he moved off of me and jumped to the floor.

I then spent a moment in silence rubbing at my face before I stood up and instantly frowned, brows pinching together in discomfort. I didn't quite know how to explain it, but I had one of those gut wrenching feelings. The ones where an icy chill darted up your spine, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to raise as if someone was watching you? It was like that, and the feeling had me glancing around the combined rooms, everything looking to be in place like normal. Hell, I even let a bit of my power loose to see if anyone was cloaking themselves from me, and when I sensed no one, I frowned uncomfortably and rubbed at my upper arm, wondering if I had merely imagined it.

I pinched the bridge of my nose with a sigh and decided I should probably just drag myself to bed before my tired mind decided to play even more tricks on me.

A/N: So here's the first "official" chapter of Phoenix! This is my first try at trying a completely mature story, so hopefully I don't mess it up or make it boring, or hell, even weird, for that matter lol. Phoenix is indeed in the Savior series,  but as I said, this can be read as a stand alone book, or as part of the series. Also, this is labled as a mxm book, mostly because the main love interest is a man, just as Phoenix is. But anywho, enough of my rambling! I hope you enjoy!