My love for you - Kuza x Josh

Chapter nine - Temper Tantrums

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I go back to school tomorrow please kill me I hate it here - Achilles 🥀
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Kuza POV:

Josh stuck his bottom lip out further. 'Josh.' I began, speaking firmly. 'I love you dearly, but you know Daddy has to work.'

'No. You no love me. Daddy only care about work.' He wriggled off my lap and began stomping away from me. I stood up and grabbed him by the waist. He tried to get out of my grip but luckily he isn't very strong.

'Listen to me. I'm sorry that I have to work, but if I don't, then I won't be able to afford to take care of you.'

Josh pried my hand off of his hip and sat on the floor sulking. I rolled my eyes out of habit, and instantly felt bad. At least he was facing away from me, so he didn't see. I turned away from him and headed up to my small office room. I've got a lot to do; I'm just going to let him sulk. I put on my headphones and got to work.

- 15 minutes later -

Josh POV:

I stared grumpily at my hands. Daddy doesn't care that I'm upset, he only cares about work. I hit the wooden floor with my hand and whimpered. It stung. I stood up and started stomping loudly upstairs to our bedroom. I don't care that Daddy says not to. He doesn't really care about me. I slammed the door extra hard and flopped onto the bed.

Kuza POV:

I could hear Josh thumping about. He's doing it on purpose, for attention. I told him that I had to work, but he doesn't seem to understand. I'm not sure how else I can explain it to him. As I dragged my thoughts back to the task at hand, I heard Josh yell. I couldn't make out what he said, but I immediately got up. I need to make sure that he hasn't hurt himself or anything.

I quickly went into our room and saw him lying face down on the bed. 'Are you hurt little one?'

'Mmmh.' He grumbled in reply.

'Hey,' I said, a little harsher, 'I understand that you're upset about me working, but it doesn't mean that you can ignore me when I ask you a question.' I scolded him. He hit the bed with one of his fists. I grabbed that arm and held it loosely behind his back. He wriggled, and I just pulled his arm back further. He whimpered beneath me and I let go.

Josh sat up and glared at me. 'I'm not hurt. But you're mean to me.'

'I'm not being mean.' I protested. 'I'm trying to work. You saying these things is hurting me.'

'Good. Meanies deserve to be hurt.'

'You're right. Mean people do deserve to be hurt. Which is why you're getting spanked for that.' I grasped his shoulder before sitting next to him. I gestured to my lap.

'No.'

'No?'

'No. I'm not mean. You the one who needs spankies.'

I clenched my fists. This boy is really testing my patience today. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself, I'm scared of going too far and hurting him too much. 'Josh. Over my lap. Now.'

'Nu-uh. You over mine.'

That was the final straw for me. Even though I was holding his shoulder and could've pulled him onto my lap at any time, I gave him a chance to redeem himself slightly and lessen his punishment. He made the situation worse, however. I pulled him down across my legs. I held him down with one hand, using the other to pull down his sweats and underwear.

'N-no..' he whimpered.

I hit him, hard. Josh squealed under me but I just hit him again. ' You know exactly what you've done wrong, and you know why I'm punishing you.' Josh sniffed as I hit him a third time.  I hit him yet again and Josh gave up trying to get away from me and just went limp in my lap. I continued my punishment. 'You can't misbehave like that Josh, you know you can't.' I helped him get dressed and looked at his poor little face, tears running down it. I feel awful. 'Want me to give you a bath?' I offered gently. I realised that I had gone too far and that it was too much for him. He shook his head.

'No thanks, Mike.' He said coldly. Not even Mikey, I must've really, really upset him. I feel terrible.

'I love you.' I whispered.

'I love you too but I'm upset and want to be left alone right now.' He said.

I nodded and left the room, shutting the door softly behind me. I'm literally the worst person in the world. Josh hates me.

Josh POV:

I wiped the tears off of my face. I didn't be bad on purpose. I thought he was gonna leave me like everyone else always does. I was scared. I know he loves me, but when I'm in little space I can't exactly reason with myself how I can when I'm big. I hope Mike isn't too hurt, but he needs to know that he hurt me too. I do love him though, I meant that when I said it. Love isn't conditional. I tend to take things very literally, and if someone were to jokingly say that they don't love me anymore then I would believe them. (Take notes this is important. - A) I took a deep breath.

I feel pretty shit. Logically I know that he doesn't hate me and that in his mind it was the appropriate action but my stupid sensory issue - mentally ill brain is a bastard and twists everything. (Me irl - A) And then when I get pissed off I want to apologise and explain that it's because of my sensory issues but I'm too pissed to explain, or I'm in little space like I was earlier and then I end up hurting everyone around me. It's not fair. I sat for a while, allowing myself to calm down. After about 30 minutes I decided that I was ready to talk to Mike.

I headed to his office and timidly knocked on the door. 'Come in.' I slowly opened the door and stepped in, shutting the door again behind me. He smiled nervously at me. I looked up at him and smiled back, a bit more confident than he was.

'About earlier..' I began.

'I know. And I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry. I should've realised that you weren't acting out and that it's just a part of your sensory issues and stuff that's happened to you before. '

'Thank you for apologising. But I also need to say sorry because even with all that, I was being a bit of a bitch.' I giggled, and Mikey laughed quietly too.

'But still, I should have realised. I the future, I'm going to try to be a lot more attentive, if you'll still have me.'

I tilted my head. 'Of course, I'll still have you, Mikey, I love you. You're gonna want to get rid of me, not the other way round.' We both smiled.

'Never. You'll have to be pried out of my cold, dead hands if you want to escape. And don't worry, I'm only joking, I won't trap you.'

'Thank you for explaining.' I beamed.

Mikey slowly raised his arms. 'Hug?' Without hesitation, I fell into his arms. He groaned when I elbowed him in the ribs.

'Sorryyy.'

'It's ok, it was an accident.'

I looked at him, and sat on his lap properly (not sticking my elbow in his ribs this time), and gave him a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around me and I relaxed into his chest.

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As always, thanks for reading <3 It's a lil angsty but I'm actually quite happy with hiw it turned out. If you want to, feel free to vote and comment because it makes me feel special. See you next time? - Achilles 🥀
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Word count: 1350 words