Måneskin One shots

It's okay not to be okay (Damiano David)

Tw: Depression/mentions of depression

You were not doing well and you felt drained both mentally and psychically. You thought you were hiding it well. But your best friend Thomas and Damiano your boyfriend, had started to notice that something was terribly wrong.

You had just woken up and couldn't wait until the day was over, and you could sleep again. Sometimes you felt like you wanted to sleep forever. You couldn't stop thinking, about how bad you felt and you kept questioning your existence.

Maybe everyone would be better off without you. Everything felt meaningless and you felt like a burden for your boyfriend, friends and family. They deserved someone better.

You wanted nothing more than to stay in bed until the day was over, but you didn't want to worry Damiano, so you forced yourself to get up and go to the kitchen.

Lately Damiano had noticed changes in your behaviour. You weren't your usual happy self. He could see right through the facade you were trying to keep up. Damiano had talked to Thomas and he had noticed the same things.

Your smile didn't reach your eyes, you isolated yourself and you didn't engage in conversations like you normally did. You were distant, it was like you were there psychically, but it was clear that your mind were somewhere else.

Whenever Damiano and Thomas tried talking to you about your mental health, you just said that everything was fine and you were just tired. But they could see it was more to it than that.

That's why Damiano had decided to make your favourite dish and had invited Thomas. He wanted to something nice for his amore and hoped that you would tell him what was wrong.

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You made your way to the kitchen and were met by Damiano and Thomas. Thomas was preparing the food, while Damiano was setting the table. This would normally put a smile on your face, but now you just felt numb.

"Buongiorno dolcezza, Thomas and I made you food, it's your favorite!" Damiano smiled, as he motioned for you to come and sit beside him.

As you sat down your thoughts were racing and you couldn't stop thinking. It felt like you didn't deserve Thomas or Damiano. They deserved so much better, someone who wasn't always so sad, and could be a better friend and partner than you.

They looked so happy and you didn't want to bring down the mood, so you put on your fake smile.

"Thank you guys! It looks delicious!" You tried to say in your most cheerful voice, hoping that they didn't notice how your voice faltered.

After a little while you felt yourself starting to feel worse. You felt consumed by the hate you have for yourself. And you felt incredibly guilty for feeling like this, when many others have it worse. You looked down at your plate and started to fiddle with your food. You didn't have much of an appetite these days.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't realize that Damiano was trying to talk to you, until you felt Thomas kicking you under the table.

"I'm sorry what?" you mumbled, looking at them confused.

" I asked you how you're doing amore, and I mean how you're really doing" Damiano spoke softly while tracing patterns on your thigh, as he knew that usually calmed you down.

You felt your chest tighten at his words. You were scared, scared of what would happen if you told them the truth.

"I don't understand what you mean, I'm fine Dami" You tried your best to sound convincing.