Hermione Granger Imagines

Behind The Scenes At Hogwarts 2

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Ron: If Harry and I were drowning, who would you save?

Hermione: you two can’t swim?

Ron: It’s a hypothetical question, Hermione! who would you save?

Hermione: my time and effort.

Y/n: that's my girl!

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*in battle*

Hermione: how would you rate your pain?

Y/n: zero stars.

Hermione:

Y/n: would not recommend.

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Hermione watching the news: someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today

Y/n: *walks in covered in ink* well, maybe the squid was being a dick

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Ron: *trying to flirt with Hermione* If this were a fairy tale, you'd be the princess.

Y/n: well that must make me the fairy godmother because you can bippity boppitty back the fuck away from my girlfriend.

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Harry: why are you on the floor?

Y/n: I'm depressed.

Y/n: also I was stabbed, can you get Hermione, please.

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Y/n: what if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Harry: pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Ron: socks are Feetie Heaties

Ginny: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Y/n: defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Harry: nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Ron: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Hermione annoyed: you are disappointments

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Y/n: hey, Mione

Hermione: Yes?

Y/n: can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Hermione:

Hermione: where’s Ron?

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Hermione: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Ron: just rip the bandage off.

Hermione: It’s Y/n

Ron: put the bandage back on.

Y/n: too bad bitch, the bandage is off

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Ron: who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Hermione: you’re a hazard to society

Y/n: and a coward. DO TWENTY.

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Hermione: three words. say them and I'm yours.

Y/n: three words.

Hermione:

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Y/n: you love me, right, Mione?

Hermione: normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

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Hermione: I prevented a murder today.

Harry: really? how’d you do that?

Hermione: self control.

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Y/n: *seductively takes off glasses*

Y/n: wow...

Hermione: *blushes* haha... what?

Y/n: you're really fucking blurry.

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Y/n: wow, Hermione, you want to hold my hand before marriage? how awfully lewd of you.

Hermione: we literally slept together yesterday.

Y/n: that's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

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Y/n: are we fighting or flirting?

Hermione: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Y/n: your point?

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Y/n: I’ve been dropping her the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. no response.

Hermione: wow. she sounds stupid.

Y/n: but she's not. she's really smart actually. just dense.

Hermione: maybe you need to be more obvious? like, I don’t know… “hey! I love you!”

Y/n: I guess you’re right. hey Hermione, I love you.

Hermione: see! just say that!

Y/n: holy fucking shit.

Hermione: If that flies over her head then, sorry Y/n, but she's too dumb for you.

Y/n: Hermione.

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Y/n: smart is attractive. educate me on something I don't know!

Hermione: the mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Y/n: stop.

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