Sponsored By Mr.Beast (Genshin crackfic)

Nobody Loves You Unless You're Submissive And Breedable

Jean: Good afternoon everyone, hope your weekend is going well so far :)

Bennett: It could be better, but thank you, Jean!! I'm keeping my hopes high :D

Jean: Aw what's wrong? :(

aether: he's in the hospital

Jean: HUH?

aether: lumine, razor and i are with him right now but everyone else is free to join!

Jean: Oh gosh, yes okay I will be right over.

Bennett: Aww shucks, you guys don't have to, you're all so kind, glad I am lucky enough to have friends like you <3 :)

Beidou: lil mans even said shucks </3 what did he ever do wrong

Ningguang: I would join, but as of now I cannot due to work. I will send a gift, get well soon, Bennett.

Ningguang: Oh also, you've mentioned Razor a lot, how come they aren't in this chat?

Lumine: Poor boy doesn't have a phone

Ningguang: Ah, I see.

childe: i can get em' one

Bennett: REALLY??

childe: yeah of course no problem

Zhongli: I also wish for the best recovery. And that is a very kind offer, Childe.

childe: ,,,thanks <3

Xiangling: oh nooo :( hope you get better Benny! may I ask what happened?

aether: i'll tell the story, he's getting checked up rn.

aether: long story short he was adjusting the traps to his backpack, punched himself in the face which resulted in I think a broken nose, stumbled back, ran into someone, got pushed back again from impact, lost balance on a curb which broke his ankle and almost got hit by a car but Razor grabbed him before he could

Xiangling: holy fuck dude

hu tao: jfc whose doin my boy so wrong

hu tao: coffins 100% off for you

Amber: i can't tell if that's a good or bad thing

Jean: That's awful... what room number are you in?

aether: room 13

Lisa: pls that's an unlucky number

xiao: even i somehow found sympathy for this kid

venti: amazing considering you took Marilyn Manson x Reader by MIWITMHARLEYQUINN on Wattpad personally

venti: no but really i'm also on my way with some gifts

Lumine: I'm scared of Venti

childe: i went to the store and bought the phone, razor has unlimited data and i'll be paying for monthly expenses

venti: i suddenly regret bullying you

aether: you no longer smell like bbq and marmite

hu tao: i will not hippo smudge caca on your pillow and walls

Xiangling: i will not put laxatives in your halloween candy

Eula: I will no longer steal your lunches.

childe: is this... appreciation..?

childe: wait tf that was you?

xiao: don't take this for granted milkie boy

childe: :sob: why milkie boy

xiao: this isn't discord tf

Bennett: Aww Childe you're so sweet :( thank you so much! Please be sure to not let the phone go anywhere into my sight, I'm scared my bad luck will break it.

aether: crying brb

Kaeya: also crying brb

hu tao: imm

Chongyun: This must be the work of evil spirits >:(

Albedo: May I run some studies on you, Bennett?

diluc: say no

Bennett: Sure! :D what for?

diluc: god damnit

Albedo: Just to see what the reasoning behind your bad luck is, I have many questions and would like to look into depth on the reason behind them.

Bennett: Oh, okay!

aether: guys Bennett gets out tomorrow :)

Amber: Please stay home, Benny.

Lisa: i'll be sure to write down notes and do his homework!

Jean: I will help.

Lisa: no <3

Xingqiu: I'll be sure to give calls when I can.

Amber: i will also give you some calls!

Jean: Childe, Razor says he will meet you outside for the phone.

Childe: no problem! be there soon :)

venti: i will be sure to drop off presents!

aether: update: bennett is on the verge of tears

Kaeya: this is so depressing and so wholesome

Ningguang: I am back. I can agree, this is very saddening and wholesome.

diluc: oh my god wow we finally agree on something

Kaeya: omg yay

diluc: nvm you ruined it.

Kaeya: wow we had a cute scene together and everything you're a faggot i hate you

diluc: says someone who literally had a spiritual nature call over the word dick

venti: huh

diluc: i

Kaeya: see? importance.

aether added razor to the shitter skirmish: hoebag decimation

aether: razoorrrr :D

Lumine: Hi!!!

razor: rah

hu tao: omg same bestie

Xiangling: omg it's the wolf kid

Beidou: he literally bit some kid that was bullying Bennett we love him

Lumine: Good boy

Xiangling: very good boy

hu tao: absolutely the bestest boy

childe: agreed, bestest boy.

aether: no other boy that good

aether: i lied there's also bennett

Beidou: nobody can even reach the amount of good those two have like

hu tao: i would sacrifice myself for them

hu tao: coffins 100% off tho because i have drip

Yanfei: Submissive AND breedable.

hu tao: omg,,, i've never received such praise

venti: i heard submissive and breedable and came right away, who received that high of royalty?

venti: omg

venti: am i submissive and breedable hu tao

hu tao: you get to earn that honor when you prove yourself worthy

venti: yes my lord

xiao: what the fuck

razor: arskjjjjfkjgrah