sparrow and lion

Chapter 18 - bad

Leo's hate threatened to consume her. It confused her. She had never felt such negative emotion before. She had never experienced such rage. There was nothing to temper it. She took a deep breath and tried to push it down. It didn't work. Anger wasn't what she needed now. She tried to think about the good things. She needed to calm down. It felt like her heart was boiling in her chest. She needed to scream so bad that her throat hurt.

Leo's anger turned to fear. What was wrong with her? She pushed inside herself and found nothing. It was like there was no light inside her. Her happy memories were gone. She knew what they were, but they had changed. Her best moments were bad now. Leo thought of the best moment of her life: when she had met Wren. But she felt only resentment. She had been injured and starving. He was upset that his rich parents wanted him to be richer someday.

He was weak and she was strong. No one had ever been strong for her. She wanted to scream. "What did you do?" Leo said. Her voice sounded like it was being crushed from her chest. It felt that way, too.

"I gave him a choice," the witch told her. "And he chose this."

Leo knew a lie when she heard one. This was not a lie. It wasn't the truth either. "What did you tell him?" Leo said.

"I asked him if he wanted to give you the parts of his heart controlled by good or by evil," the witch said. "I simply honored his request." She smiled a smile that was not a smile.

That was all Leo needed to hear. Stupid little Wren would not have answered specifically enough. He would have been as blindly trusting as always. His whole family was so foolish. No one in the household had ever asked her who she was. None of them had ever wondered why she was alone on the streets. Not one person had ever questioned why she had taken no time at all to surpass Wren in their lessons. Poor, stupid little Wren. He would, of course, have tried to give the best parts of himself to Leo.

Leo wanted to spit on him. Her anger was almost enough for her to stand up. She wanted to kick him. She wanted to hit him. She wanted to scream at him with every bad word that she knew. She didn't. It took everything Leo had to turn her hatred back onto the witch. "I'll tell him," Leo said. "I'll tell him everything."

"What will hurt him worse?" the witch said. "Thinking he's the evil one or knowing that you are and it's his fault?" Leo wanted to say it didn't matter. He had done this to her. She could hurt him, too. But the witch continued, "It will not change the outcome. He will always try to be good. He will do it for your sake without ever knowing it." The witch talked on and on. Leo's rage grew. The feeling of hopelessness inside her changed into a burning desire to destroy. And still the weather witch smiled. And still the weather witch spoke.

Leo's anger was enough now. She stood. "No," she said. "I won't let it happen."

The weather witch's smile widened. "What do you intend to do?" she asked. "Spread your corruption on him like a stain and kill any who stand in your way."

"If I have to?" Leo's snarl turned into a grin. "Yes," she said.

Leo finally stopped speaking. She hadn't told him the most important part, but she didn't want to.

Wren looked at Leo. Leo looked at Wren.

Wren's eyes were wide and pleading. "I'll help you," he said. "I'll help you be good. I'll help you break the curse. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to."

Wren still didn't get it. That was the most upsetting part of all. It wasn't that Leo had woken up bad. She had always been bad. She had simply awoken with twice as much bad as good. That much badness was difficult to contain. But she had tried. Oh, if only Wren knew how hard she had tried. She had tried and tried and thought she'd succeeded.

Leo felt a rare pang of softness in her heart. It was only Wren who brought this out in her. She loved him for it as much as she hated him. Because, of course, it was true. She hated him. She hated him so much it hurt. But she needed him. He was part of her. And that was why his goodness must not be allowed to persist. She had to kill that part of him before it was too late.

"The first sign came quickly," Leo told him. "You ran away from home and, when you came back, you told me about the cave that was not a cave." Leo looked at him. "That was when I knew for sure."