shy girl to my girl

ITS MY CHOICE!

skip 2 months
...
fine i'll give you a recap
how are me and josh well we are perfect actually. i love him.
for my birthday him and the boys got me a JEEP! i love it! I also got some clothes you know the usuals.
the boys are great!!
danielle she's texted josh a few times but stayed away.
riley and griff are goals
anthony and avani are great
avani is my bestie, my wifey i love her!
bryce is talkin to addison again...
blake and amelie are great
noah and dixie are terrific
quinton is talkin to cynthia again whoever that is.....
kio is currently just thriving on his own
anyways the sway house is great. i have actually made lots of money on tiktok and socials.
Josh and I are starting a couple channel up this week!! called y/osh vlogs.
Joshs parents want us to come see them, josh said we will soon. i don't know what that means in his book but okay.
Yea, seems amazing right... well here's the bad part. School starts 3 weeks. Yes, i know y/n you graduated high school you're fine. Well i wanna go into psychology, help people who struggle. 
Here's the problem, i've gotten into lots of colleges... but i can't decide which one and this is also a problem i haven't talk to anyone about it... so that's great. I've been looking online for the write one and emailing a lot of colleges.
alright anyways i just came back from the beach where I go to think and relax.
......
I go into the house into the living room, the boys are just sitting on the couch talking except for bryce, griffin, riley, and anthony. everyone that lives in the house is there.
they all look at you upset.
me- what?
noah- were you gonna tell us?
me- about??
blake- college
me- yes i was
josh upset - when? when was my girlfriend gonna tell me about moving across the country for a college
me- josh... i'm not gonna move across the country for college
josh irritated- well you were emailing them, and got accepted.
i say calmly - josh to be fair when i emailed most of the colleges, i hadn't met y'all yet.
josh sighs- are you considering it
me- considering moving across the country?
josh nods
me- h*ll no. not anymore, at one point in my life yes. now no.
josh relaxed a little- so where are you gonna go
blake- yeah where is mom going
kio- who's gonna cook for us
quinton- who are we gonna make fun of
me- how'd you even find out?
josh- you left your computer open this morning
me- oh
josh- so you weren't gonna tell me
me- i didn't wanna tell you until i knew for sure, because i might not get accepted to some schools
i feel something climb on my back.
i try to feel it with my hand to see what it was
i touch something little and hairy.
i turn around and see bryce and jrod with a camera and this man i don't know
me- bryce what did you put on my back
bryce- just a tarantula
me- off
bryce- what
me- get it off
by this point the boys are dying laughing except josh he's just looks upset
bryce- it looks cute on you.
me- bryce what if it bites me
bryce- it's a trained one
me- wait for real
bryce nods- yea he's the trainer
pointing to the man i don't know
me- aww can i hold him then
the trainer nods
noah- wait a d*mn minute, you're gonna hold a spider
me- a trained spider
josh- no way in h*ll
me- no faith watch baby.
the trainer grabs the tarantula and hands it to me.
trainer- don't push on it to hard but you can pet it. not rough
kio- kinda how you treat joshs d*ck
me- he said not to be rough
boys- oh snapp
josh blushes
bryce- d*mn where'd that come from
me- they are gettin mad about me applying to college, it's just a fair remark.
i start talking baby talk to the spider- i kinda want one of you, you're so cuteee.
the boys laugh.
quinton- uh oh josh
kio- baby y/osh
me- i'm 17, buttt a baby tarantula or puppy??
josh still irritated- you have me.
me- you could be a daddy
even the trainer laughed on that one. i hand the spider back to the trainer
bryce pays the spider guy and that guy leaves
jrod- see y'all i gotta go
everyone- bye
blake- anyways josh is my daddy
boys- no mine
me- keep talking boys
they laugh
josh pouting- shut up, you've never called
me that.
kio- aww poor daddy.
i laugh- can we get one josh pleaseee
josh- no stop being a child you're going to college and leaving me anyway
me- josh i am not
bryce- i'm confused
josh rolls his eyes- basically y/n is going away and leaving us for college and gonna find a new boyfriend in college
"he's gotta be joking"
me- i am not gonna get another boyfriend
bryce- what college
me- i don't know i have to decide this week.
josh rolls his eyes- she will go somewhere 1000 miles away
me- josh i'm not arguing with you, i'm not moving far away.
josh- i'd rather you cheat on me far away, then close.
my jaw drops- cheat? i'm not going to cheat?
noah- okay guys let's chill out
josh- okay noah is your girlfriend leaving?
noah- josh stop it
kio- y'all need to talk about this together nicely
me- i don't really want to talk to him right now
josh- good we are in the same boat.
me- i know i should have told you josh okay, but i was scared
josh still mad- of what?
me upset- this this right here, you getting mad, and an argument.
josh- i'm mad because you didn't tell me.
me- you're also mad i'm leaving
josh- a little yes
me- that's why, i would choose you over a stupid school. that's why i didn't tell you. ugh you're so annoying
josh- and now i'm annoying
me- yes you're being selfish.
josh- really because i think it's pretty selfish to not tell your boyfriend or anyone about college which starts in 3 weeks.
me- josh i have to grow up somehow. i'm not just gonna ride my life on your money.
josh- i like that better than you going to college
me- you're impossible.
josh- mhmm i'm impossible, you're mad that i'm gonna miss you when you're not here.
me- josh i'm not going far, you won't have to miss me i'll be here!
josh- how do you know, you haven't decided!
me- josh it's hard to decide. you don't just pick a random one.
josh-whatever move across the country go for it
me- is that what you want?
josh- might as well be even if i don't want it, that's what is gonna happen.
me- okay maybe i just will. might as well as you said. i'll let you be single out here in la.
josh- good i'll enjoy that
i feel tears start forming, i start to hold them back.
blake- woah guys
quinton- let's all take a deep breath.
josh- no if she wants to be single let the girl be single, go for it be a hoe. i'm always picking hoes, always.
"yep here they come... the tears"
i'm crying now- i don't wanna talk about this anymore. i'm going to avanis
josh sighs- okay.
i go upstairs to our well was our still our i don't know our room to get my stuff. just to spend a few nights probably, i grab my computer, phone chargers, clothes, shoes.