The Blazing Sun Burns

Chapter 5- In with the old

Riley's POV
One week later .

As they lowered the Golden casket into the ground i realized it was real. My brother really died.

I am devastated. He really died!!!.

I can't stop thinking about the fact that , if he wasn't at Becky's house that day he would still be alive. If he wasn't dating Jer , he would never have met Becky.

I know it's selfish for me to think this way but I should be allowed to grief anyhow I want . My only brother died .

I looked over to Jeremy and he was weeping profusely. Everyone was. Everyone except me.

I feel so fucking numb. What am I going to do with my life now? How do I heal from this?

Princess was by my side holding my hand. With BB beside her .

My parents are on the far end, my mum is crying but my dad isn't . He just looks sad. His trophy child is dead. Now it remains the useless one who gets money off of social media.

He would probably hate me more now .

Phoebe on the other hand couldn't make it.

What type of girlfriend can't make it to her girlfriends Brother's funeral.

I'm quite mad and pissed at her for not being here with me but I love her .

She was around when it all happened but she had to travel for work . She has been gone for two days but it feels like it's been a week.
I really need her by my side cos I feel empty .

All these lovely people around me and I still feel empty ,

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Princess' POV

Riley has put up a wall for over a week now. She doesn't say more than 2 words and I haven't seen her shed a tear.

It's going to take a while for her to
Come around but I'm willing to be there for her. I know how it feels to lose someone so I know how she feels.

I looked over to her beside me and she had the most emotionless expression ever.  And she looks lost in thought .

She suddenly left and walked off and I decided to follow her to make sure she's okay. Who am I kidding she can't be okay.

I saw her in her car holding a blade and she started rolling her sleeves up  and it looked like she was about to harm herself . I ran to the drivers door and opened it (Thank God it wasn't locked).
"Riley what the fuck are you doing", I barked at her .
She looked at me and her face dropped .
"I'm trying to cry" she said.

What? She's trying to cry?

"What do you mean you are trying to cry" I asked taking the blade from her .

"Princess I haven't cried ever since I heard the news of Brooke's death, no, I haven't been able to. I'm sad, I'm devastated and all but why  am I not able to cry?  I can feel the pain but I'm not able to release it , it's exhausting and it feels like I don't have emotions or I don't love him, if I was there when it happened I wouldn't mind taking his place . "  she said .

I pulled her in and hugged her . "I'm sure you are just one of those special people who just Can't cry, it doesn't make you less sad" I said .